If i don't laugh i'd cry
by AiDan-Kurai
Summary: Only Naruto could get through seventeen years of his life without knowing he's gay, but no matter how much he denies it he can't take his eyes off of the new teacher at his school.narusasu, kibaxshino, gaalee, minatoX? M for later chaps
1. Chapter 1

Enjoy and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: the blond one and other characters are owned by Masashi-sensei

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If I don't laugh I'd cry

I had a bad feeling about going to that party earlier in the day, I was way behind on homework, Dad was bitching on me about it and Hinata was behaving strangely. She was being even more clingy than usual, making me walk her to every class, drive her home every day and now she wanted me to be with her at Chouji's party.

I tried to get away from her as soon as we walked in through the front door but she clasped my hand and looked at me in a way she never had before, with assertive, persuading eyes. I think it scared me because I just froze in the spot and then allowed her to pull me upstairs. I couldn't even imagine what she wanted and why we had to be alone; this was so out of her normal behavior.

I had been with Hinata for five years; we grew up together, so I should know when she's being weird. Hinata is shy and quiet, she thinks the most romantic thing a guy can do is give a girl flowers, it took her three years with me before she could work up enough confidence to hold my hand in public. I know, she's just so cute! So that's why I couldn't fathom what she could possibly want to do with me alone in a bedroom!

For one moment as she was pulling me through the door of the room I contemplated ripping my hand out of her furtive clutches and run like I was on fire, then I thought of how ridiculous that would look and maybe she might just want to talk.

I sat on the bed and watched the closed and locked door longingly, then Hinata stood in front of me, she still held my hand. I looked up at her and smiled uneasily. She looked really tonight, as usual, but there were some differences that I had noted since she sat in the front seat of my car. Her hair was out and falling passed her shoulders in gentle waves around her exposed, perfumed neck, she'd never worn it like that before. She had on a little pink, thin strapped top, I could see a piece of the black lace bra on the low neck line. And this skirt! Where did that come from!? It looked brand new too which was another weird thing because Hinata had a learnt fear of skirts, especially the short flirty kind. She kept pulling it down but now, inside here with just me, she didn't seem to care.

"I-I'm really nervous." she gasped and then chuckled to herself.

"About what?" I asked, I was trying to sound calm because I was really shaking. She came closer into me and kissed me softly.

"N-Naruto." she said, "Do you l-love me?"

_Oh God_, I thought to myself, I looked at her in eyes to see if she was truly serious.

"Yes." I muttered and she smiled.

"Because I-I love you too, an-and I w-want t-to be with y-you for the re-rest of my life." _Is she going to propose? I can't marry her, we're still in high school!_ "You're m-my best f-friend and I t-thrust y-you more than anyone e-else. S-so……I w-want to give you myself completely."

"What?" I asked, I was sweating now.

She didn't answer, instead Hinata reached for something in the tiny pocket of her skirt. In her hand, between two fingers, Hinata held the neatly square packet of a condom which said everything she'd left out and I missed with such slap in the face reality that I think I stopped breathing.

_Let's pause this- You see, the reason I have been with the same innocent girl for five years straight was not because I was in love, I mean I do love Hinata, I grew up with her, she's a nice girl, but I love her the way you would a friend, or a puppy. Because ever since that day in junior high when Hinata started acting all weird around me that was all I saw her as, a puppy- I mean friend. I thought that maybe if I dated her it would change and I could see her as more (like I a human being perhaps) but I never did. But I couldn't tell her that so I just played along. I guess what I'm trying to say is……(deep breath)……. i have never been attracted to any person of the female sex not at any point in my entire life!!! *pant*pant*pant*_

_NO! Don't even think it!! I AM NOT GAY!! Never! No!...................NO!!...... Forget I ever said anything!!_

_The point is the only reason I've been with Hinata this long was because it was a safe, effortless way to get through High School without being hassled by my friends about dating. The worst part about this was that I had to lie to Hinata and that I had to kiss her (it's weird having to make out with your puppy). But on that night it all backfired and I was cornered with the harshest decision I ever had to make._

_Okay, play!_

For one painful moment Hinata was looking at me waiting for my response. I didn't know what to tell her, what would a normal guy say? _'Oh yeah baby, let's do it!!'_ BLAH!! I could never picture myself saying that and I don't, really don't want to have sex with Hinata. She's a pretty girl, I knew many guys in school who would kill to be in my position, but I just can't do that. But I have to do something.

I gave her an awkward smile but it seemed to have signaled her because she blushed and kissed me again. She kissed me deeply, with her doing most of the work, but I could feel her anxiety because every now and then her kiss was unsure. I let her push me back onto the bed and then she lied on me still kissing and now touching under my shirt. The entire time I was closely following her every movement on me with the same fearful intensity I would a tarantula on my arm, I was thinking about how I was going to get through this without hurting either of us.

It was when Hinata took my hand and gently guided it up that skirt and I felt the smooth, cold skin of her ass did I jump and pull away from it like it was disgustingly hot.

"I'm sorry." I blurted as I stopped the kiss, she looked at me with wide, confused eyes. I sat up quickly because I just wanted to get out of that awkward position and Hinata slid off of me.

"What's wrong?" she asked worried.

I stared into her cloudy eyes struggling within myself on how to say what I wanted to in a way that won't hurt her.

"Hinata- I…." but I couldn't speak, I had nothing to tell her but apologies because the truth was that _I _didn't even know what was wrong with me.

She waited for my answer, watched me fail to speak then her expression crumbled to sudden sadness.

"Hinata I'm sorry." I began because I realized that I had hurt her.

"You w-want to b-break up w-with me." she said, "That is w-what you want r-right?"

"No, that's not true!"

"Y-yes it is, that's w-what you've w-wanted for a-a long t-time now. I thought that w-we were just s-settling down and getting c-comfortable w-with each other. I t-thought that it w-was t-time for u-us to move o-onto the n-next level of our re-relationship but it w-was r-really just as I f-first thought. You're b-bored with me and y-you want to m-move on!"

I was shaking my head no and as tears were reddening her eyes, "No Hinata, that's not it."

"Don't lie to m-me N-Naruto, don't d-deny that y-you don't feel it, just w-worn out and t-tired, it's j-just time w-we ended it."

I said nothing because for some odd reason she was actually making sense, "You're tired of me?" she asked and I shook myself out of it.

"What? I'm not tired of you, I love puppies-"

"What?"

"I mean you! I love you, I just can't do this."

She nodded, "I understand Naruto." she told me as she got off of the bed, "I understand what you want" _Are you sure? Because if you do I would really love if you could tell me so that I can understand it myself-wait a minute, where did the stutter go!!?_

"You want t see other people." _damn!!_

"No, I don't want to see other people," I told her shocked by the suggestion, "I just don't think I'm ready for this."

Hinata laughed bitterly, it was something I had never seen her do before, in fact it was kind of frightening, I might need to talk about it later to help me get over the experience, "Oh sure, say whatever you want Naruto." tears fell down her cheek as she stood by the door, "You know I never saw you as a liar but you've been doing such a great job at it for a while now. You know what, I think I also want to see other people!"

I was shaking my head in disbelief. Why should I even waste my breath? I felt like looking around to see if there was any other Narutos in the room.

"Hinata you're not listening to me." I said slowly but she was opening the door, I watched her step out and then slam it behind her making the room shudder.

I sat there for a while waiting for my heart to stop pumping the adrenaline through my blood and the whizzing in my brain to cease.

_What the hell just happened?_

I didn't know exactly but it felt surreal and I could smell change coming at me steadily. I could always go get her, she's bound to calm down and I could talk to her. But for some reason I didn't want to, in the midst of this shock I felt relaxed, I felt free, like something had been lifted and I was a different person now. I had only broken up with Hinata a few minutes ago but I felt happy about it!

_Wow, how did I stumble upon this?_

_end of chapter 1_


	2. Chapter 2

Update time. Please enjoy and review

Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters belong to Masashi-sensei.

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If I don't laugh I'd cry- Chapter 2

I was aware of the fact that I could simply call Hinata at any point that weekend and everything would be right back to normal, but, every time I was about to pick up my phone, or grad the keys to my car I'd be hit with a flashback taste of how I used to fell inside when I was living in that false relationship. I was reminded of how light I felt now and I would easily change my mind, but a part of me couldn't get used to it; Hinata had always been there right next to me, always around or on my mind, it felt weird not having to worry about how to fit her into my life anymore, it was strange being free. I guess I would have to get used to it. Never broken up with anyone before so I don't know how difficult this whole adjusting period might last, I'd have to ask around.

So bright and early Monday morning, jump out of bed, boogie through my ritualistic morning grooming exercises (RMGE: bathe, brush teeth, sexy-fy hair, make that Uzumaki mojo sizzle), slurp down some breakfast ramen, kiss Dad good-bye and jump into car.

At school jumped back out of car and WAM! received over two hundred steaming glares simultaneously. They were coming from every direction and adorned my back like needles as I locked my car and walked up the front steps of my school passed the students who hung out there on mornings. As I walked through the hall glances turned into scowls and then scornful mutterings into near by ears. I felt like daggers were just being thrown at me and my optimistic mood fizzled out like a dyeing sparkle. I felt like I was in danger, like any moment I might get my ass kicked by a gang of them.

I clung to my locker tightly as I opened it with sweat palms; I was trying really hard to maintain my outward cool. My eyes ran along the rack of text books inside searching feebly for my next class even though my attention was on the waves of killing intent that was scorching my back.

"Hey Naruto!" a hand landed on my shoulder, I didn't judge the voice or the temperament of the touch, all I thought was 'Kill or be killed!!!'

"AHHHH!!!" I screamed as I flung the first thing I could grab out of my locker (coincidently it was my History text book, the heaviest thing in my locker). I swung around as I threw it only to witness my book collide into Kiba' face.

"Ouph!" he dropped limply to the floor.

OH MY GOD, I KILLED KIBA!!!!

"Kiba!" I panicked and fell to the floor besides him, "No! Kiba, please don't die!!" I shook his arm.

"Argh." I heard him groan and to my relief he moved and his eyes struggled open.

"Urg-what happened? All I remember was being attacked by a History book. I hate history."

"I'm sorry, that was me." I said and helped him back up then to sit on the short stone border they had around the school mascot's statue, the Red Wolf.

Kiba leaned over as he held his forehead, "Maybe you should see the nurse, I'll take you."

"No, it's okay, but what the hell's wrong with you? Why were you trying to kill me?"

"I thought I was being attacked." I told him honestly and Kiba peeked at me through his fingers.

"Attacked? Why would anyone attack you?"

"I don't know! They've just been really weird this morning, at first I thought I was imagining it but I think everyone is angry with me."

"You think?" He looked at me with some weak sympathy, "Naruto, don't you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Hinata?-Last Friday? Party?"

"Yeah?"

"*sigh* You dumped Hinata!"

"Wah!? I didn't dump her, she came to her own delusional conclusions and dumped me! I'm still confused about it!"

"Well, that's not the story that's been going around. Everyone in school thinks you cold heartily dumped poor Hinata and they've taken it upon themselves to hate you."

"WHAT!!? BUT IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS WHAT GOES ON IN MY PERSONAL LIFE SO HOW COULD THEY TAKE IT MORE PERSONALLY THAN ME!!!?" I felt it again, the glares and sure enough I was standing and every person in the hallway had heard me and was staring.

"Naruto sit down!" Kiba hissed, "He didn't mean that." He smiled and waved at them, then back to me with determined eyes, "Listen, Hinata is like the baby sister of our entire grade, she can do no wrong, so in their eyes you're the asshole and there's nothing you can do about it except wait it out."

But-but," I was stuttering and at a loss, I felt like I was being abruptly exiled, "I don't even understand how this happened.'

"Check Facebook. Sakura and Ino put a post up right after the party declaring you, I quote 'the king of all dogs' and explaining the whole thing, but that's if you have any friends left, I'm probably the only one." I groaned when I heard that, it was as if just the thought of going onto my profile to find the hundreds of friends I collected over the years all gone physically hurt me. Kiba saw my pain and looked angry.

"Yeah, I love you too Naruto.'

"Sorry, thanks for sticking by me Kibs."

"Oh, you don't have to thank me, really, the book to the face was enough." He grumbled as he rubbed the small reddened bump on his forehead.

"Hey Neji!" I stood when I saw the brunette coming down the hall.

"What are you doing?" Kiba asked me like I was going crazy.

"I'm going to fix this." I told him and went over to Hinata's older brother before he could stop.

"Hey, Neji, I'm sorry i-"my hand froze an inch away from his shoulder. The glare was like ice, razoring through the air passed my skull and cutting me sore, I can't even describe how effective it was, all I could think was 'that must be what hatred looks like'.

My hand practically shriveled and fell to the floor like an old leaf and Neji glanced down at it regardlessly then whisked away without a word, his company following behind him.

"Uh-" I felt Kiba besides me again.

"I told you." He said, "Wait it out." Kiba patted my shoulder. "Now pick up your arm, we've got History."

* * *

History was agonizing, those two faced bitches, Sakura and Ino, sat behind me and loudly gossiped about me through most of the period. When I turned around and told them that I could hear them they smiled and said, "We know."

I reminded myself why it's bad to bitch slap girls and effectively began ignoring them until they noticed that I didn't care anymore. It must have been painful for them, know that they weren't getting any attention, so they started fucking with me, throwing shit at my back and poking my ear with a pencil so that I'd jump, it was so annoying.

"Something wrong Naruto?" Kakashi-sensei asked me when I flew out of my seat screaming like a girl because I swore that black scrunchie that landed on my shoulder was a tarantula; maybe it was because when Ino threw it she said "Ah, a tarantula." Cause if it were any other time I wouldn't have fell for it, really.

But every one was laughing, "No, I'm fine." I muttered as I took back my seat.

When lunch came (Hallelujah!!), I dropped into a seat besides my friends and leaned over the table, "I'm depressed." I muttered, Kiba, Shikamaru and my cousin, Gaara, looked at me.

"What?" Gaara asked.

"I said, I'm spiraling into a depthless gray tornado of dismal pain and rejection. Falling into an endless pit of hopelessness and consumed by the dejecting sting of scorn."

Gaara looked annoyed and Shikamaru ust sighed and asked, "Why do you always have to be so dramatic?"

"It isn't that bad." Kiba told me and I watched him in disbelief.

"Not that bad? While I was walking over here Kankuro and his group threaten to lynch me after school!"

"He did? Don't worry, I'll talk to him." Gaara told me, he's the student body president, and also Kankuro half brother, so I he had some standing.

"Thanks Gaara."

"Large assemblies after school on the compound without the presence of a teacher or assigned authority are prohibited, so if he plans on having such activities, especially if he's going to use any rope or fire, he'll need permission from the board."

I glared at him, "Thanks Gaara!"

"Hey there's Hinata-ouch!" Shikamaru began then cried out when Kiba kicked him but I'd already heard and was searching through the crowd of eating and talking heads….there, by the salad bar, she was with the two-faced bitches. Her large usually shy but bright eyes were dim and weary, her deep blue hair not as shiny and placed in a casual ponytail. A loose dull gray fleece was worn over her uniform and she hugged it like it was the only comfort in the world, it was like the pretty , in love, happy girl at the party last Friday didn't exist.

"Oh kami, I think I hate myself too." I muttered pitifully and my friends glanced at each other then at me. I looked down at the table as I wallowed in my depression, _but I didn't even dump her, it's just a misunderstanding!_

I looked up now more convinced, "But I didn't even dump her, it was just a misunderstanding!!"

"What was the misunderstanding?" Kiba asked.

"She thought I was tired of her because I refused to have sex with her but the truth was I just didn't want to have sex with her."

"Now that just makes no sense." Shikamaru told me, "Why would you not want to have sex with your girlfriend of five years. You guys are practically married."

"B-because." _Oh kami, should I even say this to them?_, "Because I'm not attracted to her?" I said awkwardly and even Gaara looked confused. After a couple of seconds of the strange silence someone recovered and coughed up a "What?"

"I'm just not attracted to her-"

"We hear you, we just can't believe it." Shikamaru told me.

"Naruto, I'm worried about you." Gaara said without a visible hint of concern emotion in his face or voice.

"I-"

"Are you gay?"

"WHAT!!?" I jumped out of my seat, "Of course not! Why would you think? I- I-" Those three pairs of eyes, they- they were knowing! Almost humouring. I felt like a bright revealing light and magnifying glass was being shone in my face. It was unbearable. "I gotta go to the-um-library." i stuttered and dashed away like someone was chasing me.

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_Shit! I sounded so gay back there!! _I forgot how dangerous passionate denial is. I may as well of ripped open my shirt to expose the painted rainbow on my chest!

"Naruto!"

"Huh?" I turned around and met the scrutinizing eyes of the principal and my face fell, "Oh, it's just the hag."

"What did you say!?" she sauntered up to me like she was sizing me up for a fight, despite the neat femenine suit and stiletto heels she was wearing, I scoffed and stood my ground.

"Nothing. What do you want granny?"

"It's Principal Tsunade to you brat," she flicked the edge of my nose hard with two manicured fingers and I held it and glared at her, "And why were you making funny faces?"

"I was making faces?"

"And mumbling to yourself."

"I was?" i kind of felt embarrassed now. The hag smiled at me.

"Yes. Something bothering you?"

I felt something in my chest swell when she asked that and all the happenings of today flashed through my mind like a quick slide show, but I shook my head.

"Good, cause it's no fun taking advantage of you when you're depressed."

"Taking advantage of me?" I asked suspiciously and Tsunade nodded.

"There's a little thief in the school. Someone's been stealing teacher's supplies." I cocked a brow at her and she sighed, "You know, markers, pens, staplers, CDs, things like that."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"You're popular right?" _not any more_, I thought but I shrugged instead of telling her that, "Ask around, most likely it could be one of your stupid friends pulling some prank."

"How are you so sure I'm not behind it?" I asked her with a dangerous smirk and a sly smile crawled slowly onto the hag's lips, she lent over me and grabbed my cheeks between her fingers, puckering my lips. It hurt.

"Cause you'd never do something like that wouldn'gt you kid?" she said and even though she was smiling there was something in her voice that just made me shudder.

"No." I squeaked and she let me go.

"Good."

"Tsunade-sama, phone call." Shizune, her secretary, suddenly stuck her head out of the office door.

"If you hear anything report to me."

"Geez, what is this a mission?"

"You could see it as that, doesn't matter to me, see ya kid." she said before she stalked off, I watched her disappear into her office.

My next class was English, I felt lighter when I realised that, I loved English, it was my best class and my favourite sensei taught it. Iruka-sensei was the best, he was like another Dad at school. That warm smile, the way he chuckles when I say something stupid, the white board erasers and heavy metal stapler missiles he aims at me when I piss him off, make. Makes me all tingly inside.

After a day like today I really needed something that wasn't as worrying. So I decided to go a little early to Iruka-sensei's class so that I could tell him about Hinata, I was sure that he'd know what to do, that he'd understand me, I hope.

_Kami, if Iruka-sensei asks me if I'm gay...._

The eastern hall way that the classroom was located on was empty, which made sense as there was still fifteen minutes left of lunch. The classroom I passed were lonely too, the silence only troubled by the distant grumble of activity in the cafeterias below, the hum of the air-conditioning and movement in classroom E23, Iruka-sensei's class.

I grinned as I opened the door but then my eyes fell on the only person inside. He was besides Iruka-sensei's desk, bent over one of the opened draws with a hand full of supplies. The guy, who I had never seen before, stood straight when he noticed me at the opened door, he was dressed in black fitted jeans, matching shoes, and a long sleeved, dark blue, thin swaeter. Eyes that were as deeply black as his hair stared at me dully then turned slightly agitated and he held the hand full of staplers, pens and erasers tighter.

"What?" he asked with a little bite in his voice.

My eyes widened from shock and sudden realization and I pointed at him.

"Thief!" I cried and his brow creased in confusion.

"What?"

"THIEF!!!"

End of Chap 2

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Next chapter out soon, please tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Update time! I decided to put this out sooner than I planned because a lot of you seem to like it, thanks for the reviews and favs. BTW, you Peony Ai readers, don't worry the next chap is coming soon.

Read and Review

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei

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If I don't laugh I'd cry

Chapter – 3

**Last time:**

**_"What?" he asked with a little bite in his voice._**

**_My eyes widened from shock and sudden realization and I pointed at him._**

**_"Thief!" I cried and his brow creased in confusion._**

**_"What?"_**

**_"THIEF!!!"_**

The thief blinked at me then looked behind him to see if there was any one else in the room then back at me again.

"What thief?" he asked.

"You! You're the thief!" I glared at him, I couldn't believe it, I caught the thief already! "Baa-chan! The thief's in here!!" I screamed down the hallway.

"What are you-" the thief dropped his handful of stolen supplies on the table and stepped towards me but I jumped into defensive stance (I took Taekwondo since I was five......off and on) and he stepped back.

"Don't come any closer or I'll scream!" I told him seriously and he looked at me like I was stupid and disgustingly annoying.

"I'm not a thief, my name is Uchiha Sasuke and I'm-"

"Why can't you get a job and earn a living like everyone else huh!?" I told him and I saw a knot of angry veins appear on his forehead as his fists clenched.

"BAA-CHAN, THE THIEF'S IN HERE!!" I screamed down the hall again, _what was taking her so long?!_

"If I were a thief, usuratonkachi, why would I tell you my name?" he asked me with a voice that was obviously straining to maintain patience.

"Hey! Don't call me names!!"

"You're a moron."

"Hey, you bastard, at least I'm not preying on the narrow budget of innocent high schools!!"

The thief's eye twitched and then he growled, "That's it, I'm leaving." He began to walk to the door which was the only exit and which I was blocking.

"Oh no, you're not getting away!" I stuck my head out into the hallway again, "BAA-CHAN, HE'S TRYING TO GET AWAY!!!"

"Get out of my way idiot or I'll kick your ass." He threatened me.

"NO! YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL LIKE ALL OF YOUR KIND!!!" I told him and he cringed and held his temples.

"Do you ever shut up!? You're so fucking loud and every time you open your mouth the dumber you sound!"

My eyes widened from shock. How can he be so rude when he's the one who was stealing here!!? The guy tried to get passed me but I wouldn't let him, I moved to the same corner of the door he did to block his way. He bumped into me then, for a moment I was hugging his body which was more slender and less muscular than mine, he smelled like a clean bath and some weak cologne. He shot me a fierce glare with those coldly black eyes and then shoved me, I stumbled back a bit, surprised by how strong he was, but I refused to give up! I grabbed the sleeve of his sweater and yanked him back before he could get passed me completely.

"What the hell are you doing!? Let me go!!" he said angrily as he tried to pull his sleeve, and also his arm, free but he couldn't so he kicked my knee.

It friggin hurt!!!

"Argh!!" I cried out and released him so that I could comfort the throbbing spot. "Hey, where are you going!!? I shouted at his quickly receding back. He was already fuming down the hall but I ran behind him and with a deafening war cry tackled him to the floor.

"THE FUCK!!!" he exclaimed.

"I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!!!" I shouted as I tried to pin him down, but he was really fighting back, we rolled over.

"YOU CAN'T ARREST ME DUMBASS!!!"

We had been tussling and fighting on the floor in the middle of the hallway for a while, probably a couple of minutes. There was a allot of cursing, biting, and pulling of hair, the last time I fought like that I was…..okay, never mind. He kept calling me names and trying to get away but I wouldn't dare let him. Soon students started trickling to their classes and they saw us.

"Naruto, what's going on?" Gaara asked me when he came; the thief was on top trying to strangle me at that moment.

"Oh my God!" Sakura gasped.

"What the heck!" Ino besides her.

"N-Naruto?" Hinata looked frightened.

"G-Gaara," I struggled to talk and breath, "Ge-get Baa-chan."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting outside of principal's office, a security guard on either side of me, hair more chaotic than usual, my clothes dirt stained and ruffled and a little torn, and I was grumbling, "How was I supposed to know he was a new teacher?"

"Didn't he try to tell you?" Kotetsu (security guard #1) asked me.

"No! He didn't say a thing!" I said bitterly and Izumo (security guard #2) watched me more closely with a skeptical eyebrow raised.

"Really Naruto? Really?" he asked me in a very knowing and irritating way and I folded my arms stubbornly.

"Maybe he did okay." I said and the two glanced at each other as if to say 'knew it'. "Just shut up, I'm supposed to be sitting here quietly." I told them and suddenly the door opened and the hag came out and right behind her was _that guy;_ the new teacher's clothes were messed up too but for some reason, that really annoyed me, he was just a little neater than I was. I glowered at him, "I give you my word that this won't ever happen again, and one more time, I apologize." Baa-chan bowed and as she did she shot me a look that made my heart skip about four to five beats, _Geez._ "The rest of your time here at Konoha High will be a pleasant one, _I'll make sure of it_." (again with the petrifying death glare)

The new teacher, what was his name?....Sasuke?- he couldn't seem to care less how genuine Baa-chan's apology was. He just maintained the same vacant expression.

"And Naruto will write you a formal apology." The hag added and I jumped up.

"WHAT!!?" everyone eyed me, including Sasuke, his stare was cold and when he saw my pained expression because of the tedious punishment, I couldn't' believe it, the bastard smirked.

SMIRCKED!!!!

I wanted to slap the little devious smile off his face!!

"A 600 word apology should be enough." He said and Kototsu held the back of my shirt because I had unconsciously began moving towards the bastard, luckily Baa-chan didn't notice.

"Naruto?" she said my name in a tone of warning when I just stood there glaring curses upon him.

"Yeah- 600 words- got it." It felt like I was chewing on glass when I said that and the son of a grumpy bitch teacher just shrugged.

"Hn." He said and left. I watched him go down the hall wishing his hair would combust from my eyes.

But then Baa-chan grabbed my ear and used it as a leash to pull me in to her office.

_Great, here comes the hour long lecture._

* * *

Dad picked me up from school because the hag kicked me out early.

"So what was he really doing with the supplies?" Dad asked in mid laugh, Dad is and probably will be the only authority figure in my life who would find all this funny.

"He was searching for the role." I grumbled blushing from embarrassment when Dad laughed out at that.

"Stop laughing at me! It could have happened to anyone."

"What ever will help you sleep at night son." He gave me one of his affectionate grins (which people say looks a lot like mine).

"Baka! Keep your eyes on the road!" I told him.

"Oh right, sorry."

Dad is a Physics Professor and Head of the Physics Department at Konohagakure U. He's a renown genius, has his own lab and written a handful of boring physics books, but a complete air head when it comes to everything else. Eight years ago he got into a really bad accident and had to learn how to walk all over again, I haven't been able to trust him with himself since.

"Did you eat anything this morning?" I asked him when I noticed that his skin was a few shades paler than usual.

"Right, I forgot." He said doing one of the many nervous gestures we share, the apologetic grin and itch at the back of the head, it works well on weak minds.

"*weary sigh* I'll make you lunch when we get home."

"I can't stay, I have to counsel this student on his thesi-" he stopped when he caught my look, 'the shut up and do as I say if you enjoy breathing' look (learnt it off of Baa-chan).

"So are you going to apologize to Uchiha-sensei?"

"I have to write a freakin 600 word apology." I growled feeling my anger swell dangerously. I felt like kicking something.

Dad smiled at me like he thought I was cute, "Well you better get started, this sensei sounds like no joke. He might try to avenge himself."

_Avenge himself?_ If that meant more Naruto hate then it wouldn't be new to me. He should join the club.

* * *

Next chap coming soon. ^^


	4. Chapter 4

Greetings ^^ sorry I've taken this long to update this fic, I actauuly dropt it then decided to pick it back up again because a few of you seem to really like it. So sorry again, and enjoy-

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei

* * *

The next day, at school, I was still littered with burning scorn and no one but my three childhood buddies would speak to me. I had tried to call Hinata the night before but Sakura answered instead.

"What the hell are you doing with Hinata's phone!" I shouted at her.

"What the hell are you doing calling?" she retorted.

"Just let me talk to her."

"Sure, hold on a sec."

"Listen bitch, I said LET ME-huh? Oh- okay."

...(elapse 30mins)

"Hello?"

"Hinata?"

"No fucking way! You're _still_there? You're pathetic Uzumaki!"

"SAKURA! DIE SLOWLY BITCH! DIE SLOWLY!"

"Naruto, how many times have I told you not to speak to your granny Tsunade like that!" (Dad downstairs).

"Ha Ha Ha! Whatever dumbass, after you.*click*"

"ARGH!"

Yeah, so that went well, kind of.

Anyway, at school the next day and I get to my locker quite safely considering the fact that I continuously felt like my life was being threatened at every angle. As I was unlocking my locker I noted a weak scent in the air, it was just a whiff but it was so pungently awful I scowled and itched my burning nose. It was like a mixture of decade old blue cheese and sweetly rotten fruit, and maybe a little puke.

_Some one must have left their lunch in their locker,_ I dismissed it as the lock clicked, I opened the locker and tensed when a large cup toppled out spilling something out of the Devil's old refrigerator all over my neck and the front of my uniform.

"GAH!" I cried out, "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE- WHAT IS THIS!"

My hands were held in the air as I looked down at my self, getting full waves of the scent that was now so strong it made my eyes water, I didn't even want to touch it. I shuddered from the cold and slimy feel of the liquid as it seeped through my shirt.

I suddenly heard laughing behind me and I spun around. It was Kankuro, the two faced bitches and some others.

"It's old yogurt." Kankuro told me with a pleased grin.

"Yogurt?" I said.

"And a few other stuff." he added.

"Oh God, I - I think it burns." I said looking down at my dripping uniform, and they all just laughed, then the bell rang in the background.

I glared up at Kankuro and started to move forward planning to kick his big- "What's going on here?"

We all looked up to find the owner of the harsh voice, Ibiki-sensei, the dean. The hovering man of threatening build and coldly intimidating features looked us all over. Ibiki-sensei is kind of scary so it took us all a couple of seconds to recover from the shock of his sudden appearance. Unfortunately Kankuro was first.

"Naruto forgot his lunch in his locker again and it spilled all over him." he lied and I turned to him shocked and wide eyed.

"That's not true-"

"Uzumaki!" Ibiki-sensei cut in shooting me a look that reeked of danger.

"All of you get to class, Uzumaki you come with me, I'll hose you down."

Ten minutes later: me in the back of the school being pummeled with a heavy spray of water by the grumpy dean who wouldn't step within ten feet of me from fear of passing out due to my new cologne. I threw my uniform away and got a new change of clothes from the lost and found, but you could still smell me coming! By the time I got to fifth period biology I was planning Kankuro's untimely death.

"Geez!" I heard Kiba say when I sat behind him like I usually do for this class. "What's that smell?"

Sakura chuckled. "It's Naruto." she said, I shot her a death glare and she giggled and blew me a kiss. I dodged it like a bullet!

"Naruto, what happened to you?" Gaara asked with a crinkled brow showing his disgust for the smell.

"Them happened to me." I growled and then explained what happened this morning.

"How troublesome." Shikamaru told me, "Why didn't you just go home?"

I looked at him like he was crazy, "And make them think they've won? Hell no!"

"But do I really smell that bad?" I asked them worried about how my scent might affect my friends, they could tell that was on my mind and they all pulled the disgusted looks off of their faces.

"I guess I could ignore it." Shikamaru told me.

"I've smelt worst." Gaara said and he opened his biology text and started reading as he wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"It's not that bad." Kiba smiled widely then suddenly jumped and covered his mouth as he gagged. They weren't the only ones, everyone else in the class was either glaring at me or holding their noses.

Soon Orochimaru-sensei came in and everyone settled down, no one said a word as the sickly pale and long haired man walked up to the front of the class. When I first started at this school I used to be terrified of the guy, I mean he has the aura of some type of venomous snake, but now I know that he's just weird, nothing to be afraid of really, just don't look him in the eye, no sudden movements during class and never approach him by yourself.

"Good day class." he said as his savoring eyes looked over all of us, "Today we'll be on the topic of reptiles, and specifically on snakes-"

"We've been on snakes for _two months_now." Kiba groaned so that only I could hear and I chuckled, "When are we going to move on?"

"He did that last term too, the guys obsessed." Shikamaru said also.

"Last class we were talking about snakes, and all reptiles in fact, inability to learn because of their lack of the enlarged _Cerebral Hemispheres_found in all mamm-" Orochimaru sensei, who had been slowly walking down the rows of seats, stopped a few seat away from me and sniffed the air. "What is that smell?" he asked to himself and I paled as Sakura and Ino began stifling their giggles.

I put my head down as I waited for him to follow his nose down to my seat and when I looked up again I jumped because the guy's face was inches from mine, and if I thought he was weird looking before...

Small chuckles started erupting now as he stared at me up close and I shivered then asked him carefully, "Erm- something wrong?"

Orochimaru-sensei didn't answer, instead he flicked his abnormally long tongue out at me a couple of times making me back away in my seat and shuddered. "Uzumaki."

Orochimaru-sensei made me place my desk just out side the open door of the room so that I could watch his class from there without disturbing anyone. It was _very_ embarrassing especially when other teachers and students passing down the hall pointed or stared. _But I will not go home I say! THEY WON'T WIN!_

When biology was over I waited for my friends outside the door. The two faced bitches came out and when they saw me leaning on the wall they started to laugh again, I glared back and stuck my tongue out at them as they passed.

"What are you doing?" I heard and I turned around to see Gaara watching me with that bored 'I'm asking but I don't really want to know' look on his face again, and Shikamaru shaking his head besides him.

"Nothing. Where's Kiba?" I asked after I pulled my tongue back in.

"He was right behind us a moment ago." Shikamaru answered but then mentioned boy walked out of the class with another boy next to him. It was some guy named Shino, another weirdo, I didn't know Shino existed until last term's chemistry finals when my pen ran out of ink and he appeared out of nowhere and offered me his, apparently he's even been in the same class as me since elementary school and I didn't even notice. How could I? The guy never talks! He dressing strange too, he always has the collar of his shirt up hiding half his face and he wears dark tinted glasses. He and Kiba were talking and as they stopped in front of the door we could hear their conversation.

"That's great." Kiba said with an awkward smile on his lips and I wondered why he was talking to Shino if he obviously didn't want to.

"I think Shino is bothering Kiba." I said and Shikamaru shook his head.

"Actually it's the other way around." he said and I noticed that my dog loving friend was now tugging his hair from the back, I knew Kiba long enough to recognise all of his nervous gestures.

"Sooo, what did you do all summer?" Kiba asked they guy who was staring at him blankly, well any face would look blank behind those glasses.

Shino leaned back a bit as he rest his hands in the pockets of his pants and I noticed Kiba's eyes flash quickly looking down then up the guy's body then to his face again, but I paid no attention to that. " I went to Oxfordshire, England with my dad to hunt for Mole Crickets."

Kiba cocked a brow, as did the rest of us, "M-Mole Crickets?" he asked.

"They're a rare species of crickets native to Europe, they were thought to be extinct but my great uncle found some in his back yard compost. We needed to discern if it's the actual UK Mole Cricket or some other immigrant species from another part of Europe. That happens allot, like last year I thought I'd discovered a new species of African Stinging Fly when I went to Nigeria to take pictures of Dung Beatles for National Geographic with my mother, but it turned out that it was just a cousin species from Egypt."

Kiba sweatdropped, "Wow, sounds really interesting."

"It is."

"You get to travel allot don't you?"

"I do."

"..."

"But it's for scientific purposes of course." Shino added.

"You don't go just to have fun?" Kiba asked him and Shino was silent for about five very tense seconds.

"Bug hunting is fun." he finally said and then followed a long pause in the conversation that eventually lead to the dreaded awkward silence and Kiba looked so uncomfortable and desperate I would of laughed at him if the situation before me wasn't so pathetic. I didn't get it, why was he talking to this weird guy any way?

"Um- well." he finally spoke up to the boy who didn't seem to notice the strange turned down in their talking, but Kiba suddenly looked hopeful, he smiled and gained more confidence as he looked back up at Shino, "I have a swimming meet a few weeks from now, I don't know if you're into that but- you can come if you like?"

Shino seemed to be mulling it over then he said, "I'll come." and Kiba looked surprised.

"Really?- uh, okay." he smiled, "Well, maybe after we could hang out or something."

"Why not, I don't mind being around people who notice me." the other guy said and his head turned slowly so that his covered eyes were on me.

"You're still sulking about that!" I told him, "I said I was sorry! And I know who you are _now_ don't I?"

"I'll see ya later Shino." Kiba cut in and he left with us.

"Why are you always trying to befriend that guy?" Shikamaru asked him as we headed for our next class.

"Yeah, he's so weird. All he ever talks about are bugs." I added as I shivered from the thought.

Kiba just shrugged his shoulders, "That's true, but besides all that he's seems like a really nice, sensitive guy."

"Maybe." I said then I realised that Shikamaru was walking away from us, "Where are you going?"

"Advanced math. Remember, I have math same time you guys have English."

"Oh right." I told him, then I remembered the folded peice of paper I had folded in my English note book, and my shoulders fell, "Oh- right."

Kiba chuckled, "Did you write the apology?" Gaara asked me. And I felt my pores raise along with my burning anger as I remembered how late I stayed up last night writing _SIX HUNDRED MOTHER F-ING WORDS! _of that stupid apology. I felt like kicking something again.

"Yes, I did." I bit between my teeth.

"Hn." Gaara said.

"What?" I asked him, he had his head turned down and he looked slightly contemplative.

"I have a bad feeling about this guy." _? Bad feeling?_ "But I guess we'll just have too see, he's our next class."

_Yeah, I know._

* * *

Next chap coming soon ^^, Sasuke gets to torture Naruto =)

Please review and tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Update time! ^^ Enjoy and please tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei

* * *

So here I am, in the class room that was once a fond sanctuary for me, a place of both laughter and painful violence, is now a looming unknown threat. As I waited for that Sasuke-teme, the new English teacher, I wondered what happened to Iruka-sensei anyway?

"He's coming!" Ino suddenly proclaimed to the class as she ran from the door to her seat next to Sakura, and all the girls in the room began adjusting their hair and uniforms, they were whispering excitedly as everyone else (aka, the boys) looked on confused.

"Who's coming?" Someone muttered in the background before _he_walked in and the entire room hushed. I turned around grudgingly to look also. The new teacher was dressed a bit more formally than he was the day before, he was wearing close fitting black dress pants, the top button of his white shirt was undone leaving his slender neck and smooth pale skin exposed, under his collar hung a loosened black tie. The outfit wasn't anything special really, all the teachers in my high school dressed like that, but none of them fit into the casual suit and tie like he did, like he'd fallen right out of a magazine or something.

I was staring, my eyes following his patient progress towards his desk.

"Naruto, you're drooling." Gaara said calmly from his place besides me and I swiped my head around.

"Huh?" I fumbled and Gaaramotioned his pen at the line of spit that was strolling down my mouth just like all the other girls in the class. I almost slapped myself, _What the hell are you doing Naruto! This is the enemy! You DO NOT admire the way the enemy looks in his suit!_

"Erm- I - I _really_like his tie." I told Gaaraas I wiped my mouth, "It's a great tie, I- I think I should find out where he got it cause I- I like it- sooo much-heh."

"Naruto." Gaara said.

"Yeah." I squeaked nervously and he used his pen again to get my attention, this time pointing it ahead, and when I looked up my eyes fell on the dozens of glares on me (courtesy every girl in the class) including one particular pair of bluntly cold black eyes.

The new teacher was standing in front of the white board with his arms folded, he was watching me and a tense silence filled the room. I blushed from embarrassment.

"Are you finished keeping back my class?" he asked me and I nodded feeling my controlled anger boil inside. He cocked a challenging brow at me before he spoke again.

"As I was trying to say, my name is Uchiha Sasuke," he told us all as he wrote it on the board and I heard some girls whisper about how cute his ass was and mentally forbade myself from looking. "And I'll be replacing Umino-sensei for this English class."

"Where is Iruka-sensei? Is he alright?" I asked boldly and again with the glares, but Uchiha-sensei's eyes slid onto me again.

"I can't tell you that." he told me.

"Why not?"

"Naruto. Shut. Up." Ino turned and whispered sharply at me but I ignored her.

"Then tell me if he's coming back." I said.

"Don't you get that it's none of your business?" he asked me and I glared at him. Then, suddenly that same sadistic smirk slithered onto his lips like it did yesterday.

"You." he said to me, "You have something for me, get up here and hand it over."

Reluctantly I pulled the folded note out of my text book and walked up to Uchiha-sensei, when he took it I moved to go back to my seat but the slighter man stopped me with a stern hand on my shoulder.

"What? I can't go sit now?" I asked him and he shot me a 'shut the fuck up' look. I didn't get it, I gave him the goddamn apology. What else does he want?

We watched as Uchiha-sensei opened the note and started reading, as he did I guess he finally caught a whiff of my new colonge and his eyes suddenly shot up at me. He brushed his perfect little pretty boy nose with his gentle long fingers.

"You don't want to know." I muttered at his irritably questioning look and he rolled his eyes before he walked to the windows in the room and began opening them as he still read my apology.

"Thank you Uchiha-sensei, it was really getting unbearable in here." Sakuratold him witha cute smile and I growled at her under my breath.

When he was done reading he folded it again and handed it back to me, I took my labour of hate back, planning to burn it while imagining it's him when I got home, but when I was about to walk away again he stopped me.

"Read it." he said and I turned to see that smirk again on his lips, this one was a little amused.

"What?"

"Don't say 'what' like you didn't hear me, now do it." he told me sternly and I heard the two faced bitches snicker.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "No, you're just trying to embarrass me."

"This is part of your punnishment, do it or I'll have to tell principal Tsunade about your stubbornness."

I clenched me fists to stop any violent urges I had gotten then.

He got me there, after what I did yesterday baa-chan won't even listen to me if I tried to explain this time, she won't believe me especially if she needed this guy so badly she bowed to him yesterday.

Biting my lip, I unfolded the note.

"Face the class." he said and I almost tackled him to the floor. _You don't beat the crap out of your sensei Naruto! Don't beat the crap out of you sensei! BUT GEEZ! HE'S SUCH A BASTARD!_

Uchiha-senseisat at his desk watching me patiently with his legs folded as I began reading. Besides the obvious embarrassment of me reading out loud a very boring, very submissive apology to the people who hate my guts, I couldn't get why he wanted me to do this...until he started to openly find faults in every single sentence I wrote!

"Naruto." he interrupted me for the sixth time (AND I WAS STILL ON THE FIRST PARAGRAPH!) I was shaking now as the others in the room stifled their laughs, the only ones who weren't enjoying this, besides myself, were my three friends: Kiba looked sorry for me, Shikamaru- well he wasn't asleep so that must mean something right? And Gaara was glaring at Uchiha-sensei, too bad that was all he could do.

"What?" I snapped at him.

"What was that supposed to be there? A metaphor of some kind?"

"Yes." I said through my teeth.

"Hn, obviously you need to look for the definition of a metaphor, and when you find it write it fifty times over so that it'll stick and you won't make that mistake again."

I WILL NOT KILL MY ENGLISH TEACHER! I WILL NOT!

By the end of the period I was done and Uchiha-senseiseemed satisfied with my completely defeated look.

"That appology was poorly writen." he told me arrogantly, "There was no introduction, the grammar was horrible and as for the body, it was a jumble of fly by sentences."

"You're lying!" I told him and he looked surprised that I still had some fight left in me, "I always do great in English! I've never gotten lower than a B!"

"Hn, I find that hard to believe. Maybe in Umino-sensei's class you did, but in my classroom you're a loser, a dobe."

"Argh! Don't call me that!" I began but Gaara interrupted.

"Uchiha-sensei," he said as he raised his hand, "A teacher calling students degrading names like that isn't allowed in this school, it's also pretty low. I'll have to tell the principal about that myself." _Hell yeah Gaara!_

The new teacher smirked at that, he stood and looked head on at Gaara, "I don't remember calling Uzumakiinappropriate names. Do you class?" he asked the room, and my mouth dropped open when everyone answered, "No Uchiha-sensei!"

"Naruto was the one being disrespectfull, as usual." Sakura said.

_I can't believe this, am I really that hated?_

The bell rang suddenly, signalling the end of my hell and the beginning of a new one and everyone started getting their stuff and filing out for the next class.

I was still too shocked to move.

"Uzumaki Naruto?" that voice that made my insides cringe said my name and I slowly turned to find him still watching me.

"You're the president of the Writer's Club, am I right?"

He was right. Iruka-senseiand I started that club together during my freshman year. It's a club for aspiring writers or kids who just like to read and write in our school. I loved it cause I got to hang out with my favourite sensei while planning stuff for the club.

I nodded my head.

"Hn, they actually put a usuratonkachi like you to be the president of that club?" he said and unfortunately nobody was there to hear it, the class was empty now except for the two of us.

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever. But as all Umino-sensei's responsibilities have fallen onto me, I will be the teacher heading that club."

My eyes widened as realisation slapped me in the face, _wait a minute, th-that means-_

He smiled that evil grin, his hands in his pockets making him look all cool, "We'll be spending alot of time together."

* * *

"I'm quiting the Writing Club." I told my Dad over pizza that afternoon in the kitchen. He was standing behind the counter eating rather quickly and I was sitting on one of the stools.

"Why?" he asked.

"Not my scene." I told him and Dad crinkled his brow at me.

"But you and Iruka-sensei worked so hard on it together. Didn't your granny Tsunade say that it's so popular she'd make sure it continues even after you graduate?"

"Dad, a wise man once said that if you really love your child you'll let him go, I think it's time I let this club stand on it's own y'know. They don't need me anymore." I said, and then muttered, "Just like I don't need the pain in the ass."

"What?"

"Nothing."

But Dad didn't look satisfied, he had put down his half eaten slice and now he was just watching me. I hate it when he does that, like he's staring into my soul, I've never gotten away with anything against that patient, knowing stare.

I sighed and dropt my slice of pizza also, "Iruka-sensei left."

"Really?" Dad looked surprised, but then he smiled at me in a "Aw, you're soo cute!' way and I looked back at him disgusted.

"What is it?"

"You're quiting because _your _Iruka-sensei left?" he asked me.

"Di-did you just say '_my_' Iruka-sensei?" Dad nodded giving me one of his- _my_ innocent closed eyed grins.

"Ever since you started at that school you've had a crush on that guy." he told me and I almost choked on air.

"And w-what's that supposed to mean!" I asked standing now as I blushed-_blushed! WHY AM I BLUSHING!_- Dad held his hands up motioning me to calm down.

"Nothing, I just always thought that it was cute. As a matter of fact, I remember that when you were in elementary school you used to talk none stop about your arts and craft sensei, hmmm- if I can only remember his name."

" Don't you have work to do or something?" I cut him off and Dad jumped as he remembered something else.

"Yeah, I do. I gotta go Naru."

"Huh, go where?"

"To my office at the university."

"Since when do you go there at night? You usually bring your extra work home."

"Yeah," Dad said and I noticed the sweat on his forehead, the overly apologetic grin, the itching of the head- _is he nervous?_"This new experiment has been a little troublesome so I thought the office there might be more quiet, it'll help me concentrate, and one of my assistants were supposed to stay late and help me with it. I think we'd work better in my office at the university than the smaller one here."

"Oh...well, okay." I smiled, _if it was that simple why is he acting so weird?_"See ya tomorrow, and don't forget to eat something healthy in the morning."

"I won't, bye son." Dad said as he ruffled my hair then left.

After I finished eating I cleaned up and then went up to my room to compose my e-mail of resignation from the presidency of that club. I figured as the next meeting is the end of this week I should tell that Uchiha-teme that he needs to find some other poor defenceless student to torture as soon as possible. But as I sat in front of my laptop I saw an e-mail from, "Iruka-sensei!"

I opened it quickly and read:

_Hi Naruto_

_How are you? Well, I know that by now you've noticed my absence at school. Don't worry, it not permanent, my father fell ill suddenly and as he lives alone I have to stay here and take care of him. In other words, I don't know when I'll be back . I'm sorry, I know we had alot of things planned for the club, but I'm sure the teacher that Tsunade-san chooses to replace me will be more than helpful. Just work with him/her just as you would with me (as in be patient and remain calm, and keep your voice down, just because you're excited doesn't mean you have to shout)_

_I know you won't give up. And if you need to talk about anything, I'm just an e-mail away, though my reply may be slow cause I'm very busy with my dad. I'm still here for you =)_

_Iruka-sensei_

By the time I was finished my head was down on the keyboard and I was trying really hard not to cry.

_H-he wouldn't want me to quit-_but at the same time... memories of haunting black leering eyes and a sadistic smirk fluttered in my mind like bats. Evil laughing bats flying in circles around my head, with huge faces that closely resembled the two-faced bitches and Kankaru.

I shivered at the thought.

_That's it, I can't go on like this,_ I thought, _the torture has to stop! Even if I have to get back into that cover up of a relationship with Hinata... That's it! Tomorrow I'll try to get back with Hinata! It's the only way, besides, it's not like I have other choices._

_End of chap 5_

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_Sorry it took kind of long, I really hate typing so that took me a couple of days. Also, I know the chaps are short but like I said I had dropt this ficso I have to get the hang of it before I could make some longer chaps, so bare with me ^^Well the next chap will come soon, Narutomay get back with Hinata... or he may make things worst ^^_


	6. Chapter 6

Update time! ^^

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei!

* * *

Something happened over night to all the girls in my school. They all got hotter! I'm serious! This morning when I parked my car and jumped out, for a minute I stopped in my tracks and checked the title engraved in the broad slab of rock that sat in front of 'my school' just to make sure I was in the right place. The hallways reeked pungently of an almost nauseating blend of perfumes (which I kind of didn't mind cause I still smelt like Satan's puke from yesturday, even after the two hour long tomato juice soak, "Try it, it worked that time that skunk got you, I'm sure it'll get the scent out this time too." Dad said). Skirts were magically shorter, girls stood in their cliques doing that squeaky excited whispering thing that guys just don't get, they were pulling tiny compacts out of their pockets like every five seconds and checking or fixing their make up, flipping their perfect hair, giggling for no obvious reasons and walking passed you with wind in their hair caused by their supermodel struts. Even the nerds looked great!

"What the hell is going on?" I whispered into Shikamaru's ear when I finally found him. He was standing in a corner looking very troubled, like he wasn't sure if it was safe to move yet, let alone speak so he also whispered his answer.

"It's that new English teacher. He has all the girls going weird."

"You're kidding me." I said as my shoulders slumped, "All this, for him?"

"Hm, you know what the sad part is? They're completely oblivious to the guys, they've never done anything like this for us. Not even Neji can cause this kind of commotion."

"Talking about Neji, have you seen Hinata?" I asked him and Shikamaru shook his head.

"Why? Are you going to talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"It's about time, I figured you would. Just be careful with what you say to her."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, though it's you so probably not, but she's been spending alot of her time with Sakura and Ino these days. Those two are the worst type of girl, they're kind of scary actually." he said and I chuckled, Shikamaru has a serious girl-phobia.

"C'mon, Shika, let's go to class," I told him and he glanced at the sea of glittering girls, giving them a weary look. I raised my fist and smirked at him, "Don't worry, I'll protect you." I told him and after receiving my respectful 'you're a dumbass' look, we headed cautiously for our next class.

As the periods of the morning flew by it had became clear that that Uchiha-teme had taken over the school in as little as 24hrs. His name was being whispered in every corner, I hadn't even seen the guy since yesterday and I felt like I was surrounded by him! As the fifth period ended and I was heading over to the cafeteria for lunch, a group of the new supermodels surrounded me and demanded that I gave up my presidency over the Writer's Club. With Iruka-sensei in my heart I said no... then got chased around the school three times! I was saved by _the man_ himself, as I was dashing down the hallway that the teacher's lounge was on, I saw him ahead. He strolled casually with his hands in his pockets to the vending machine and glanced up to see me running for my life from the group of quickly enclosing girls.

"Uchiha-sensei!" the banshees behind me cried out and they suddenly decided to act like the perfect little ladies they're supposed to be, they stopped running after me and skipped up to the bastard with innocent smiles on their faces. I had stopped and leaned on the wall to catch my breath and when I looked up our eyes met and we held a stare above the girls heads.

"Having a good day dobe?" he asked me and I dug my nails into the paint on the wall as I heard the name he called me, _just keep your cool Naruto, he wants you to get angry, it's like his food, the essence that nourishes him. Yeah, that's it, he's like a demon, a freaking demon that feeds off of my humiliation, anger and pain!_

"A great day." I said giving him my widest smile, I was still fighting for oxygen though so I probably looked more like I was suffering from an agonizing tooth ache. "As you can see I'm pretty popular with the ladies. Can't leave me alone now can you girls?" I said and the group that was surrounding Uchiha sensei gave me a disgusted look.

Uchiha-teme just smiled at me, I can't explain it. It wasn't quite a smirk, it lacked the raw sadism and demonic evil that his smirks usually reeked of. No, this was more knowing, conniving almost, it freaked me out and it made him look hot as hell- um- well, th-that 's- that's what the girls thought, you know that his smile made him look handsome. They even told him too!

"Uchiha-sensei, you have a really nice smile." one of the brave ones told him as she blushed and the others all cooed their agreement. All the bastard love was making me sick so I left heading for the cafeteria again so that I could hopefully find Hinata. As I walked in through the doors of the large eating area I saw her sitting with her friends at their usual table. I hesitated because they were _all_there: Neji, Kankuro and the two-faced bitches, basically the fuel to the hate I've been receiving.

Hinata suddenly looked up and our eyes met for a moment, her large deep eyes that I always thought were so cute made me feel some tight pity. I felt bad about it really, I had used her all this time to hide behind and now that the punishment for it was getting unbearable I was going to use her again. _Maybe this time if I try REALLY hard I might start liking her the way she wants me too (the way I'm supposed to), maybe we could even *gulp* __**do it**__. Maybe that's been it the entire time, I just haven't been pushing myself that hard, I need to force myself, just bite my tongue, close my eyes and do what needs to be done!_

_Okay, go now Naruto, tell her you're ready!_

"Hey Naruto!" I heard Kiba's voice and I stopped and spun around to see him waving me over to our table. I looked between the two destinations before I decided to check my friends first.

"What is it Kibs I'm in the middle of something." I told him as I got there, Shikamaru was besides him staring intensely at a chess board, I think he was playing against him self.

"Oh, in that case, sorry for inturrpting your stalker-ish staring but Gaara said that he wanted us to met someone."

"Really? Who?" I asked as I sat down.

"How should I know? But it's Gaara, he wouldn't ask us if it wasn't important."

A minute later Gaara appeared next to our table with a guy besides him. I think every one in the cafeteria stopped what they were doing to watch this guy, he was just a little taller than Gaara, his jet black bowl cut hair bordered two strangely round eyes above which sat some of the thickest, rectangular eyebrows I have ever seen. He wore two green sweat bands on his wrists with the kanji for "Youth!" sewed into them, and even Shikamaru rose a brow at the way he was staring at us, like he was about to errupt or something.

And sure enough, he did, "Hello beautifull youths!" he shouted at us.

"The hell?" Shikamaru said and Kiba and I backed away in our chairs just a bit.

"Gaara what's going on? Should we be worried or something?" I asked and my red head cousin just sighed.

"Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba- this is Rock Lee. He's a transfer and also Gui's son."

"You're kidding," Kiba said with a chuckle, "Who'd ever do Gu-" Kiba shut up when he noticed the teal eyes on him that were impassive but yet burning with dangerous warnings, "Erm- Gui-sensei? Really?"

"Hn, I'm supposed to show him around. Gui said that Lee has a hard time making friends so he thought we could help him out."

"It is so nice to meet you, I just know that we would have great happy moments together as friends." Lee said with a thumbs up and a wink.

"Wow, he really is Gui-sensei's son." Kiba said.

"I can't possibly see how this guy would have trouble making friends." Shikamaru added and he went back to his game.

Lee looked around the room and with a determined glint in his large eyes, he climbed easily onto a chair, then the table. Kiba and I watched with our mouths open as he stood up high and waved at the mass of kids.

"Everyone! Everyone! I am Lee, it is very nice to meet you! I am new-"

"Lee." Gaara used his commanding voice that he normally uses on me when I'm annoying him, it's like he's shouting without raising his voice and yet it always grabs your attention and makes you cut the crap while at the same time invoking so much fear. It worked perfectly on Lee, the guy stopped and looked around like he was searching for the bearer of the bone chilling voice. "Get down from there." Gaara said and Lee jumped off the table landing before my cousin.

"But, you said that I can introduce myself to everyone." Lee said in a whining voice.

"Not by jumping on tables and announcing it, that's not normal." Gaara explained to him calmly.

"Normal?" Lee repeated with an inocently confused look on his face, "I need to be normal to make friends?"

"Hn." Shikamaru grunted at that.

"Not exactly," Gaara told him, "Just don't ever do that again."

"Yes, I am very sorry." Lee told Gaara honestly as he bowed, "Please continue guiding me in the best way to make friends Gaara-san!"

Gaara didn't say anything to that, he just watched Lee's determined face silently for about three seconds then turned around saying, "Come with me, I'll show where you can buy lunch."

"Right away!" Lee bounced behind him and Kiba chuckled as we watched them pass through the crowd of staring kids.

"I almost feel sorry for him." He said.

"Who? Gaara or Lee?" I asked him.

"Lee, Gaara will kill him by tomorrow."

"I kinda like him." I smiled and Kiba looked at me like I was an idiot, "Okay, I gotta go get my girlfriend back." I said as I got up and stretched.

"What?" Kiba looked up at me.

"I give up." I told him simply, "So, I'm gonna go tell her I love her, we'll kiss and make up, then I'll take her home and blow her whistle."

Kiba watched me with his mouth stuck open like he couldn't find the right words. He finally looked up at Shikamaru and mouthed, "'_Blow her whistle'_?"

Shikamaru shook his head as he checkmated himself, "Troublesome."

"I'm going." I told them as I began to march towards Hinata's table.

"Naruto wai-" Kiba began but Shikamaru stopped him saying, "Leave him, as troublesome as it will be, we'll just have to clean up the mess after."

When I stood in front of their table all conversation ceased and Neji, Kankuro, the two faced bitches, Hinata and everyone else seated at the other tables nearby looked up at me, all with scorn. Except Hinata, her eyes were filled with some more heavy emotion, I looked right into them seriously.

"Hinata-" I began but Ino cut me off.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she asked me and I shot back, "Playing football, what does it look like pig?"

"Does anyone smell that?" Kankuro asked with a smirk and I felt something click off in my head and I immediately lost all cool.

"YOU! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS YOU- YOU DISGUSTING- ARGH KANKURO I SHOULD KILL YOU!"

"Ha! You can't kill a fly baka."

"Stay out of this Sakura! This is between me and that sick- sick man over there!" I shouted pointing at Kankuro and a part of me knew that somewhere, somewhere out there Gaara and Shikamaru were shaking their heads at me.

Kankuro chuckled with a proud smile on his face and for a very satisfying moment I had a very animalistic vision of me flinging myself across the table and ripping his head off with my bare hands! I think my face showed that I was contemplating murder because Kankuro got up and said "Bring it on Uzumaki."

"Kankuro, sit down." Neji told him and he used Gaara's commanding voice to do it. The other Hyuuga's cold lithium eyes fell on me as Kankuro took his seat again and I felt a shiver run down my spine and all of my previous fiery anger fizzled out instantly.

"Heh- h- hey, N-Ne-ji." I stuttered as I ran a shakking hand through my hair and Neji's brow's tightened slightly from his obvious irritation.

"What do want Naruto?" He asked me bluntly and it took me a moment to remember.

..._Oh right!_"I want to talk to Hinata."

Sakura and Ino opened their mouths to most likely protest but Hinata spoke first, "Sure." She told me as she stood up and everyone looked up at her. Hinata smiled weakly at them, "It's okay, I want to talk to him."

Hinata came up to me and took my hand to pull me with her and they all quietly watched us go. I couldn't help looking back and sticking my tongue out at the two faced bitches though and they both scowled at me. _HA!_

Hinata guided me just outside of the cafeteria doors, when we got there she released my hand and took up a comfortable distance away from me as her head fell and she played with her fingers. Her dark blue hair fell into her face and her eyes glanced shyly between me and the floor, her already small frame seem to shrink under my stare. All I could think was '_How cute!' _

_"_N-Naruto, I'm sorry." she told me.

"For what?"

"I a-asked them to l-leave you alone bu-but they wouldn't listen to me. They're j-just trying t-to stick up for me."

" Yeah, I figured that." _Well for Saukra, Ino and Neji but as for Kankuro, he's just being a bastard. _

"W-what did you w-want t-to talk to me about N-Naruto?" she asked me.

"I wanted to tell you that, well- I want to get back together." Hinata's eyes slowly shifted onto mines and she gave me one long meaningful look.

"Why?" she asked me and her voice was somehow stronger, "I thought t-that we were o-over, that there was nothing else l-left between us?"

"But we could start new again." I told her as I came closer, I took Hinata's smaller, soft hand in mine. "That night I was just nervous, but now I'm ready. We could do it!" I smiled at her excitedly but Hinata frowned.

"So, you're saying that all of a sudden, you're ready _now_." Hinata said it in a tone that was completely unfamiliar, at least for her, though it reminded me of someone. Or should I say 'someones'. "Why are you ready now Naruto?" she asked me and her hand tightened around mine.

"Um- well, cause I thought about it and there's no reason why I shouldn't, I mean you're a girl and I'm a guy. It's how it's supposed to be! Hinata, I've known you for years, I can't see myself doing it with any other girl."

I knew something was wrong by the look on her face, like she coulkdn't beleive I was saying what I was saying, "So, what you're saying is you think we should do it just because you think it's the _right _thing to do?"

"Well- yeah, it is the right thing to do... right?"

Hinata's eyes drooped now as her clutch on my hand fell limp. She shook her head slowly as I watched in a still shock as tears fell down her cheek, "D-did you e-ever love me Naruto? Or d-did y-you just sa-say that cause i-it was the _right _t-thing to say?"

"W-wah?-"

"Sakura and I-Ino were right!" she gasped and Hinata wiped at her damp face though more tears still fell. I think my heart was breaking, I had never seen Hinata cry, I felt panicked, like I should be doing something to stop it but absolutely nothing came to mind. "Something is wrong with you Naruto!" Hinata said before she dashed passed me back into the cafeteria. She pushed the doors opened to reveal her cousin, the two faced bitches and Kankuro waiting there. I think they heard the entire thing.

I watched wide eyed as Ino and Sakura hugged her. Kankuro looked pleased that it turned out this way and Neji was trying to burn holes through me with his eyes. But I didn't get it! What did I do? What did I say? Isn't that what she wanted?

"H-Hinata." I said weakly, Hinata glanced back me but then flinched like just the sight of me was hurtful.

"G-go away!" She told me as she dug her face closer into Sakura's chest and now I felt even worst, it was a completely sunken feeling and it was made stronger by my utter confusion. _Isn't this what she wanted?_

* * *

After my failure at lunch I decided to skip the next period and go into hiding, my hideout being a lonely corner in the library, and try to figure out what just hapened. I felt like shit right now. I'm sure the news of me making Hinata cry has already spread through the school, everyone most likely hates me even more now which is going to make my life here even more like hell. I have my first club meeting with the demon bastard tomorrow and nothing Hinata does makes sense anymore!

I put my head down between my knees as I suddenly felt a little overwhellmed and sick. _In one week- IN ONE WEEK MY LIFE HAS FLIPPED OVER AND SCATTERED ALL OVER ME!_

"ARGH IRUKA-SENSEI WHERE ARE YOU!" I bellowed desperatly to the sky with my eyes closed and was immediately scolded by the old Liberian, "Sorry, sorry." I whispered now but then I felt my phone vibrating in my pants. I pulled it out and saw that I got an e-mail. _Iruka-sensei?_..._Shit no, it's Uchiha-teme. What the heck does he want?_ I read the subject and it said: _1st Writer's Club Assignment. Do it or face the consequences._ I scowled at the words, _'face the consequences'? who the fuck does he think he is?_

I opened it up and read:

_Writer's Club Members_

_Every good writer should know how to express themselves, it is a necessity of your craft, and emotions are some of the most challenging elements to explain. A human emotion can never really be encompassed in one word so it takes practice to express them not only accurately but gracefully. Your assignment is to write about the strongest emotion/s you've felt this week. Write about what happened to you, what you felt and what you learnt from it. _

_It doesn't matter what the emotion is or the experience, just use propper grammar and __**don't bore me or you'll regret it**__. _

_Uchiha-sensei._

_Ps. e-mail your finished work by 9 o'clock tonight._

I couldn't help but think that this was strangely coincidental. I sighed as I leaned back in my chair, I stared up at the uneventful ceiling as I held my phone limply in my hand. I had until later tonight to write it huh? Well I thought that I should get started now cause I have _allot _to write about.

At around eight that night I was sitting in my living room with Kiba. He came over cause we had to finish off a geography assignment together. The half complete geography assignment lied neglected on the coffee table as Kiba was screaming at England's goal keeper as he tossed asside the game control in anger, he was playing FIFA World Cup 2010, and I was bent over my laptop trying finish the club assignment.

I had started and couldn't stop, I wrote about what happened with Hinata, how much she and the entire situation makes no sense to me. I knew that it was the bastard that I was going to send this to, but as I felt the waves of emotions wash over me with every memory, that part of it kind of faded away and I felt like it was Iruka-sensei I was writing this to. And with every word I felt just a little lighter... until my mind flashed me a pic of Hinata's glassy, pain reddened eyes and I felt something sharp pierce my chest (_ I still can't belive I made my puppy cry!_).

"Hey Kiba." My dad walked into the room and Kiba paused the game. I looked up at him over my computer screen and kept staring when I realised the way he was dressed, dad had on those jeans I made him buy and a new t-shirt under his coat. I would of guess that he was going out for a good time if he wasn't holding his suitcase in his hand.

"Ha ha, where's the party?" Kiba asked him and Dad blushed.

"Party? I'm just going to my office." he told Kiba.

"Again?" I asked and Dad looked apologetic.

"Sorry naru, I've still got allot of work to do."

"Is that assistant going to there to help you again?" I asked him and I swore that for a moment Dad stiffened, but then he suddenly smiled and I watched the hand reach up for the back of his neck like it always did when he's nervous.

"Y-yeah he-she's going to be there- to help me."

I nodded and then I noticed a _huge_smile slap itself on Kiba's face suddenly, "Is it a he or she?" he asked Dad.

"I- it's a she." He smiled back and there was a really awkward silence left where Dad and Kiba just grinned at each other and I wondered what the hell was going on.

"Well, see you guys later, and don't stay up too late." Dad told us before we left and Kiba got up to watch his car drive off through the window. When he sat down again he did so facing me.

"What?" I grunted, I was back to my writing again.

"Your Dad is sooo getting some." he said with that same wide smile again and I cocked a brow at him.

"Shut up." I said.

"He didn't tell you?"

"My Dad _doesn't_have a girlfriend."

"And how do you know?"

"Cause he promised me that if he ever got into a serious relationship with someone he'd tell me."

Kiba shrugged and spun around to face the tv and go back to his game, that he was losing 5-0. "Well he has allot to tell you." he muttered and I looked up at his back... but then decided to leave it alone, _he promised he'd tell me, Dad can be a baka but he never lets me down._

I went back to me assignment and thirty minutes later I was done. _He better not tell me any crap about it!_ I thought as I pressed send.

* * *

This chap was sooo hard to write. But i hope you enjoyed it, tell me what you thought and review please. The next chap comming soon and something _BIG_ happens, not a lemon though sorry =( ... okay so maybe it's not a '_BIG' _but more like a 'Big!' ^^


	7. Chapter 7

Okay so sorry this update took months. A lot happened: got sick, almost lost my sight, got a little better, then the semester started and I only just sneaked in the time and patience to force this chap out. So please enjoy and tell me what you think of it ^^

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei

If I don't laugh I'd cry

Chapter 7

"Just as I thought, with the exception of two or three glimmers of potential, you are all utterly talentless." I looked up at the cold hearted bastard that was standing beside me with my mouth open in shock as he addressed the disheartened members of my club.

"Hey! How could you tell them that?" I whispered at him tugging on his shirt sleeve to get his attention. Uchiha-teme glanced down at me.

"And you're the worst." He told me straight faced, "Besides the usual errors, your piece had no conclusion."

"What do you mean it had no conclusion? I sent you the whole thing, all two pages."

"And it was two pages of you rambling and complaining about your little problems, _but no conclusion_."

"But-"

"We'll talk about that after the meeting." He cut me off then turned back to the now amused club members, "Next on the agenda is the book signing excursion. Iruka-sensei never got to picking an author so I will have to do it, I guess we'll go see whoever is in town at the time."

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

"So what's this about you being a total idiot of an English sensei and not noticing my obvious brilliance?" I told Sasuke-teme after everyone else had left at the end of the meeting. He was sitting behind his desk working on some papers and doing other sensei-ish stuff . He lifted an annoyed brow at my comment but said nothing about it.

"Why are you here?" he asked me.

"You told me we'll talk about it after the meeting remember?"

"There's nothing to talk about, I already told you what I thought, now go away dobe I'm busy." He said as he picked up his pen again and his attention went back to the work in front of him. With a stubborn expression I leaned over his desk so that I blocked his light and Uchiha-teme glared up at me.

I gave him a very fake grin and said, "I'm not leaving until you explain."

Uchiha-teme stared up at me for a moment then he sighed and rested his pen down again. He spoke in a way that was obviously impatient and humoring, "What was the point of your essay dobe? What was the feeling you were trying to explain?"

"Duh! I was trying to tell you how confused I was about the whole situation with my girl- ex-girlfriend. And stop calling me that!"

Uchiha-teme shook his head, "No, you weren't confused. And I call it how I see it, dobe."

"What?" I scowled at him, "How would you know I wasn't confused?"

"It was very clear from what I read that you knew exactly what was wrong with the entire situation. You know what's wrong with you, but you didn't write it in the essay, which is why I said it didn't have a conclusion." I found myself just staring at him like he was crazy and when the bastard noticed that I was completely lost he just rolled his eyes. "This is a waste of time." He grumbled. "You're a usuratonkashi who doesn't even understand himself."

"Well maybe I would understand if you were just a bit little more clear!" I growled at him suddenly getting annoyed, he was just talking crap about my perfectly fine essay and now he's getting angry with me for not understanding a word he's saying! But he didn't seem completely crazy so I guess in some way he might be right about something, so I decided to try and understand the bastard for once, "Okay, so you're saying that my essay had no conclusion because even though I thought I didn't understand what is going on, the truth is I really do, and there is something wrong with me?" the memory of Hinata's teary face suddenly surfaced (_"….something is wrong with you Naruto!")_ but I ignored it, it'll just make me depressed.

"Well I wouldn't call it 'wrong'." Uchiha-teme said and I cocked a brow at him. "But yes, that's basically it."

"Then what's up with me?"

"Figure it out yourself."

"No, tell me!" I persisted leaning closer over his desk and the teme looked irritated.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't care, it's none of my business, now leave my office before I call security."

I chuckled at that and said, "You wouldn't." and a devilish smirk graced Uchiha-teme's lips making me shiver from both fear and something else I wouldn't admit.

"Okay, maybe you would. But before you do you gotta tell me."

"Do you ever listen, or do my words just get lost in that big empty skull of yours?"

"C'mon please? If you tell me then I could work it out and get my girlfriend back."

"Heh, I doubt that." He muttered.

"Why are you so mean?" I asked him suddenly sounding upset.

"Huh?"

"Do you know how hard this is for me? My life has never been this uncertain!" I cried getting louder with each word, "All I want is a break! Just let it end, it's all I'm asking Uchiha-sensei!"

"Okay okay, just shut up already! Geez." He cut in angrily, "I'll tell you."

_He he, it worked_, I thought as I smiled at him in victory and again Uchiha-teme just watched me wordlessly for a few moments before he spoke and I wondered what he was thinking.

"So what is it? What's wrong with me?" I asked him one last time.

"You're gay." He answered, "That's why you couldn't love your girlfriend the way she wants you too, that's why you feel like a bastard about it, that's why you're so confused. You're gay and you're a usuratonkashi for not realizing it yourself."

"I-I-I-" me stuttering, I felt like I had been spun around in circles and then left there blinded. What the hell, that came out of nowhere, "How-"

"Breath dobe, it's not a big deal."

"B-but, I- I'm not gay." I finally managed, "An-and who the hell do you think you are telling me that!" I told him angrily and Uchiha-teme just looked blankly at me, like my reaction was something boring and expected. But this felt surreal, he was the first person to ever say that to me, and with such a serious face, it was scary.

"If you're going to annoy me further I suggest you get out before I -"

"Shut up! You're doing this on purpose! I know you hate me, I know that that essay was just an attempt to get back at me for that day I beat you up, but you don't have to take it this far!"

"First all I'm not doing this on purpose, I told that I didn't want to tell you but you're the one who wanted to know. Second i'm the one who kicked you're ass remember? And though I do hate you I'd never waste that much time on you. You're attracted to guys, you've always been, get over it and leave me alone."

"I SAID I'M NOT GAY!" I shouted and instead of being pissed like I thought he would be about me shouting at him, the bastard just smiled at me as an almost ominously dark glint came over his eyes.

"You're not?" he said and then he did the freakiest thing, well at least I inwardly defined it as freaky because I didn't move when Uchiha-teme leaned closer to me over the table, his face coming in far enough for me to smell that familiar blend of cologne and his natural clean scent, his warm breath brush against my face. I didn't even blink or make a sound as his nose touched mine, "If you don't want this," his perfect tenor voice purred into my ears sending a shiver like a straight line of lightening down my spine, "if you don't want this then push me away." And he then he pressed his lips against mine, his warm, unbelievably soft lips and I felt like this was my first time because kissing Hinata felt nothing like this. Something as uncontrollable as the shiver came over me and I pushed harder into the kiss, opening my mouth to taste his lips and hopefully enter the desirable cavern behind it but suddenly he pulled away.

Uchiha-teme fell back into his seat with his arms folded and a satisfied smirk on the lips I was still hungering for. I stood frozen in the same position as reality came back gradually, and besides it also rang one screaming mantra like a shock pulse in my head: _My sensei just kissed me. My sensei just kissed me- my !MALE! sensei just kissed m!_ I opened my mouth but nothing, not even a squeak, came out.

"Hn, knew it. " he told me and I watched him wide eyed. "You have a lot to think about baka."

"Y-you, you pedophile!" I pointed with one hand as I wiped my lips furiously with the other, finally got my voice back.

"Don't call me that."

"But you just kissed your student! I'm a minor!"

Uchiha-teme shrugged as he picked back up his pen again and started continued with what he was doing before, "I don't know what you're talking about, I never kissed you."

"B-but you did!"

"If you don't have evidence you don't have anything, dobe."

"Teme! Stop messing with my head!" I demanded pounding my fist on the desk to make him look up but he didn't. I stood there of a while glaring at him but he was definitely ignoring me now. I couldn't believe it, he kissed me and now he's pretending it never happened? What the fuck's up with that! _I should get out of here_, I thought, _before he does something even weirder._

With an angry huff I turned away from Uchiha-teme, then grabbed up my bag and went for the door, opened it and stepped out.

"Even if I did kiss you," I heard him say now as I was about to close the door behind me, I stopped but didn't turn back as he spoke, "would you have liked it?" I could hear the smirk in his voice, he was just toying with me, acting like he knew me, this was just all another one of his tortures wasn't it? The bastard probably thought he had something on me now and just the thought of that made me hate him right now.

"No," I said, "it would be disgusting, cause you're a guy." I thought I heard something then, like a rustle but then his voice back again, this time a little tighter.

"You're annoying, leave."

"That's what I was doing." I said as I closed the door.

When I got home dad wasn't there, a note on the counter told me that he was at his office again. I guess I felt a little disappointed, I wanted to talk to him, not about what happened today I just needed the distraction because all I could think about-_ shilt!_

The end

I hope this was enjoyable cause like I said it was forced. Please tell me if it was good or not (I might write it over) ^^ thank you for reading.

Next chap: naru get's suspicious of his dad


	8. Chapter 8

^^ enjoy^^

Disclaimer: previous applies.

* * *

If I don't laugh I'd cry

Chapter 8

"Naruto."

"Mmm, Uchiha-teme, not here, it's wrong!"

"…..What!"

My eyes snapped open when I recognized that impatient tone in the other person's voice.

"Shi-Shikamaru?" My eyes now widened as I gazed up at him, he was standing over my bed looking a little more annoyed than worried. "Uh- ummm-" I struggled for words (I was kind of still half asleep, not to mention dumbfounded) but Shikamaru interrupted.

"Stop. I don't want to know."

I grinned at him as I sat up, "Cool, good morning."

"It's four in the afternoon." He told me as he watched me yawn and itch at my bed head.

"True, but it's a Saturday so whenever I wake up today it's officially pronounce morning."

Right. C'mon, let's get this over with."

"Huh. Get what over with?" I asked him and Shikamaru sighed.

"Should have known this would happen," he muttered to himself, "Better break it down slowly so that he'd understand. Naruto, what did you get on your last math quiz?"

"Ummmm- a C minus."

"And what did you beg me to do after you bitched about it all goddamn day?"

"Uhhhh…."

"Troublesome, I'm leaving."

"Wait! I remember, I asked you to go through the corrections with me on the quiz!"

"Too late I'm already out the door." Shikamaru told me as he walked out of my room and I jumped out of bed and ran after him.

"Wait! I'm up now!"

Shikamaru only agreed to stay after I promised not to ask him to do anything for month (probably won't last a week) and a few hours later we were almost done in my living room.

"Not that it's any of my business or anything," he said suddenly, "but did something happen yesterday?"

"Huh?" I looked up at him from my work.

"You seem even more cheerful than usual, I want to know what you're trying to make up for." He told me and I thought of how I sometimes hate how well my friends understand me.

I just shook my head and smiled at him, "It's nothing."

"Naru, I'm going!" I suddenly heard dad call out from behind and I turned around in time to see him flash passed the living room doorway heading towards the front door.

"H-hey, wait a minute!" I got up and called him back, _what the hell was that? _By the time I got to the front door he was already in the car.

"Where are you going?" I called out to him and dad gave me a very awkward looking smile.

"Ah- the office, i-it's an emergency, I might be there a while so don't wait up okay."

I narrowed my eyes wondering if he really expected me to believe that, but then an idea struck me and I grinned back at dad as I waved.

"Okay, sure, see you later dad, be careful!" I told him as he started the engine and before he could drive off I ran inside heading for the closet to get my hoodie.

"C'MON SHIKAMARU!" I screamed as I passed the living room and he jumped.

"What the hell Naruto?"

I ran back to the living room with the house keys in my mouth and my coat half on. "Let's go!"

"Go where?" Shikamaru asked irritably, "And calm down, what are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"We're going to spy on my dad. C'mon, we're using your car."

Shikamaru looked very reluctant, "And why do we have to spy on your father?" he asked though he sounded like he really didn't want to know. I was bouncing on my heels now from impatience, dad was probably half way down the street by now, if we don't go soon we'll lose him!

"Argh! Cause he's been acting really strange lately and Kiba said that it's probably because he's 'getting some' and I want to prove him wrong cause I know dad wouldn't do anything like that behind my back!" I said in one breath then gestured frantically to the door with eager, pleading eyes but Shikamaru didn't budge. "OH C'MON MAN!"

"If you know that your dad would never hide stuff like that from you then why do you need to prove Kiba wrong? Why can't you just ignore him and trust in Minato?"

_Damn Shikamaru! Why must he be all analytical at times like this!_ "I don't know, cause I guess it won't hurt to know for sure? Please Shika, I won't ask you to do anything for the rest of the year."

Shikamaru seemed interested now, "…...*sigh* I'm going to regret this."

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

"See! Now we've lost him!" I exclaimed as I surveyed the well lit road before us, we were heading into one of the more active parts in town but I still hadn't found Dad yet.

"Will you calm down and stop shouting; I'm right next to you." Shikamaru growled.

"Where are you going?" I asked him when Shikamaru suddenly took an unexpected turn.

"I'm going to the University, you know, where he said he was going in first place."

I was about to protest some more but then I just gave up, maybe he's right, Dad hasn't lied to me since my goldfish died when I was six and Kiba can be-

"STOP!" I shouted.

"Why?"

"Over there!" I pointed at a Hotel that we were passing by to my left, in the row of cars that were parked in front of the tall lavish building waiting for the valet, was dad's car. "He's inside- a hotel?" I looked back at Shikamaru, his eyes were a little troubled, but he shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll find a parking spot."

Inside the hotel lobby was very busy. The vast room hummed loudly from a blend of excited talking, people were just hanging out or walking by in groups heading for the bar or the restaurant or maybe the underground club that the hotel boasted.

"Umm- something's up here." I said as I noticed two other things, one, almost nobody was carrying luggage or any other forms of tourist-like accessories, and two, almost every person I could see was a guy. "Think it's a conference or something?" I asked Shikamaru.

A group of chatting friends passed us just then and their eyes one by one fell on me and didn't leave, I inched closer to Shikamaru, I don't know but their stars made me feel really bare and uncomfortable. They smiled at me like I had just done something cute.

"Awww, don't keep him to yourself," one said to Shikamaru, "Let me get a taste of your cute blonde?"

_WHAT!_

I paled, "Sh-Shikamru," I squeaked, "What's going on?"

"It's Gay Night." Shikamaru told me bluntly, unlike me he seemed pretty calm about the group of guys winking and eyeing us like we were a good meal- actually, what am I saying, they want ME not him!

"What are you talking about?"

"Over there." he nodded at the guarded door that lead to the club, besides it was a poster welcoming all the 'LGBT' visitors.

"The hell?"

I felt someone pass behind me, WAY TOO CLOSE! Then a whisper in my ear, their hot breath brushing down my neck, "Hey sexy, save me a dance later okay."

"AHHH!" I screamed and clamped down on Shikamaru digging my fingers into his shoulders.

"OW! Naruto!" he shouted angrily and now everyone in the lobby was staring. The group of guys from before were giggling and saying 'how cute!'

I was panting as I tried to regain control of my racing heart; I clung closer to Shikamaru as I apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm really vulnerable right now." And I really was. That conversation with Uchiha-teme, the thing I had been trying to forget all day, was tormenting me right now. _You're gay. You're gay. You're gay,_ the memory echoed in my head. My lips warmed as my stomach fluttered and I gulped.

_I hate that damn English teacher! Even when he's not here he makes my life hell!_

"Naruto let go of me."

"Why? I need you to protect me." I told Shikamaru in a little, helpless voice.

"You clinging to me is not making your straightness very convincing and they're not going to attack you."

"How do you know that?" I said.

Shikamaru sighed in an attempted to gather his patience, "We're here to find your dad right? So let's do that so we can leave and I can go home and ignore you for the rest of the year." _Right_, I remembered, _I have to figure out what my lying father is up to._

"Do you think he checked into a room?" I asked Shikamaru and he contemplated the idea.

"He could have, and if he did then we might as well give up now cause there's no way they'd tell us which room. But he could have also gone to the restaurant or the bar."

"Well let's go in there!" I said and began to pull Shikamaru into that direction but he stopped me.

"Wait! We can't go in there, we're under age."

"Then what do we do?"

"Just peek in or something, that's all we can do." And that's what we did. I stood at the open door of the restaurant but saw no heads of bright blonde hair anywhere. Next was the bar, it was pretty dark in there but it was a smaller area to survey and sure enough I saw him immediately. Dad was sitting at a table facing me, though there was no way he could see me watching him at the entrance. The person that sat opposite him, not facing me, had long dark hair; it fell pass her shoulders and no matter how hard I wished it she wouldn't turn around. I watched them talking for a while, Dad was smiling pleasantly as he listened, he doesn't smile at any of his friends like that, in fact I'm pretty sure if she was a friend they wouldn't be catching up in a classy hotel bar (knowing my dad they'd probably be at his lab or a physics expo) not to mention he wouldn't have hid it.

"I don't get." I said loud enough for Shikamaru to hear, "Why would he hide having a girlfriend from me? Did he think I wouldn't be happy for him?"

"Parents are just troublesome, it'd be better not to waste your energy trying to figure it out because I'm sure he doesn't plan to keep it a secret forever, at some point I guess she'd want to meet you."

"Hn, that's if he's even told her about me, he's probably lying to her too." I turned away from the scene suddenly, "C'mon Shikamaru, let's go. And thanks for the help."

"No prob."

When I got home it wasn't a surprise that I couldn't sleep. It was past eleven and Dad wasn't home yet (not that I cared, he could do whatever he wants! *pout*). But things are really starting to pile up: Hinata, the entire school, that demon English teacher, the whole you're gay thing (which I'm not!) and now dad. I need to work these things out. I figured that Hinata and the people who want to kill me should be left alone for a while (at least until things settle bit), but Uchiha-teme and his false accusations I'll have to deal with as soon as possible. But before I prove him wrong I need to prove it to myself first that I'm not what he thinks I am, I'm a perfectly normal teenage guy.

The end of chap 8

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Thanks for reading and please give me feedback, reviews really help this fic along motivation wise ^^

Next chap: a little experiment and Shino is back!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: previous applies.

* * *

If I don't laugh I'd cry.

Chapter 9

"Dog!"

"Scumbag!"

"Heartless!"

Each girl that passed me had something to say.

"I guess _everyone_ heard about me making Hinata cry." I muttered to myself.

"Say something?" Kiba asked from beside me, we were both heading to our first periods.

"Nothing." I told him and just then a girl bulldozed a path right between us, obviously making sure that her shoulder collided with mine painfully. Almost knocked me over.

"Just die Naruto." She snapped at me as she continued on without apology or even a glance back.

_What the hell!_

I angrily spun around and with my fist in the air shouted, "Crazy bitch!" behind her.

"Uzumaki." A sharp but calm voice cut through the noise of the hallway, grabbing my attention too. I knew who it was even before I turned around to glare at him. All the girls seem to hold their breaths as he walked passed them and towards me.

"What is it?" I asked him defensively.

"Your foul language."

"So what? Haven't you been hearing _them_ all morning?" I asked him as I gestured madly at my crowd of female torturers. "A guy can only take so much!"

Uchiha-teme didn't look like he cared, he just smirked slightly and said, "Detention. Lunchtime." Then he turned and left leaving me with my mouth open in disbelief.

"WHAT THE FU-" I began but Kiba clamped his hand over my mouth before I could finish, he also held me back when I tried to run after the heartless bastard to tackle him to the floor.

"Naruto, calm down. You'll only make it worst for yourself." He said as he released me when Uchiha-teme was gone from sight.

"It can't get any worse than this Kiba."

"Exactly," Kiba grinned at me and I looked surprised by him agreeing like that to my negativity. "It's so bad that it could only get good from here." He continued and I frowned.

"Right." I said dryly.

"So you're coming to my swim meet later right? Gaara, Shikamaru, Lee and Shino'll be there too." Kiba asked me and I felt a leer tug on my lips as I remembered something.

"I always do don't I?" I told him as I skillfully turned my leer into a kind smile and Kiba returned the gesture.

"Kewl!" he chuckled and we went into our class together.

*Evil laugh* (in my head) You see, I had another reason for going to the swim meet.

_To check out guys_!

Yep, I said it, I Uzumaki Naruto am going to find me some sizzleing male eye candy- but it's all for research purposes of course!- I said last time that in order to prove that evil, conniving and obviously delusional pedophile (Uchiha-teme) wrong I need to prove it to myself first. And where better to test the strength of my sexual orientation than at a place full of guys wearing nothing but tiny Speedos!

I snickered at my own wit.

This was going to be easy, I've been to Kiba's meets loads of times, I don't mind being surrounded by a bunch of half naked guys, I don't mind at all.

"Naruto-kun, are you okay?" Lee asked me right after I had yelped and clamped onto his arm because one of Kiba's competitor's bare hips had brushed against my elbows as he walked by.

"Just ignore him," Gaara told Lee, "He always gets like this."

"Um- really?" Lee asked as he watched me apprehensively survey the sea of Speedo clad boys.

"He gets really edgy around unclothed guys." Shikamaru explained.

Lee looked concerned, "I wonder why that is….."

"Isn't it obvious?" I spoke up now and Gaara, Shikamaru and Shino looked at me, "I-it's indecent you know, showing off their bodies like that. There are children here!"

"Naruto, it's a swimming meet!" Shikamaru snapped as an irritated tick appeared on his forehead.

"I'm just saying…." I muttered, "Cover up alittle."

"Let's just find some seats." Gaara said and we followed him up the stands.

As the first race was coming together all of the competitors went to sit with their teams which cleared up the view of the pool. We saw Kiba come up when his name was called for the first race and we all cheer, 'we' being Lee and I, and Kiba looked up to wave. I noticed his eyes going along the line of us until it landed on Shino then Kiba gave the weird boy a little smile. I figured that he must have been happy that Shino came like he said he would, not that I would have minded if he had forgotten….

The boys who were taking part in the race came up also and started stretching and getting ready. This was it, I could test myself now. I studied the line of them searching for anything that caught my attention, which none did- as expected.

_Ha!_ I sat back in my seat with a satisfied smirk, _Guess you were wrong Uchiha-te-huh? _

A head of dark hair caught my eye. The boy that had just taken the spot next to Kiba had hair that was similar to my demon English teacher, I watched him closely as he peeled off his sports hoody, the only piece he had besides the dreaded speedos, then he began a quick warm up. My mouth parted when he stretched his arms up and the taunt muscles of his rippled abdomen shifted smooth with each movement. He bent over to touch his toes and the black skin of fabric which cencored him pulled down enough to expose the top slope of his ass and when he stood straight again I found my eyes stuck on the perfect 'V' that lead down to his crotch. His crotch that was cut off from being explored fully by that damned speedo, god that thing suddenly annoyed me.

"Uh- Naruto-kun, are you okay"

"Huh?" I turned reluctantly to Lee and Gaara held out a napkin to me. "What this for?" I asked as I took it.

"Your nose is bleeding." He answered calmly.

"Ah!" I shouted as I looked down at the drips on my hoody, then I mentally cursed myself for getting aroused over something like that. I blushed as I held my head up and poked the napkin into my nose, "Shit."

"Is it too warm in here?" Lee was concerned, "Your face is all red."

"Hn." Shikamaru smirked, "What were you thinking about Naruto?"

"Nothing!" I shouted sounding panicked, "I-It's all the chlorine!"

Kiba ended up winning all three of his races and I stared at the ceiling for two hours. Maybe I was jumping into this too quickly, staring at half naked guys is kind of weird, no male should be studying another male that closely in the first place, right? No wonder it made me all nervous, it's abnormal. I thought that it might be better if I tested myself on fully clothed guys instead.

We collected in the parking lot with Kiba near Shikamaru and Gaara's cars.

"So what are we doing now?" I asked and Gaara and Shikamaru both looked at Kiba for an answer. Even stranger, Kiba suddenly became nervous, he grinned uncomfortable as he played with his meddles, his eyes glanced at Shino beside him.

"Well, Shino and I were going to get a bite to eat." He said.

"I'm heading back then," Shikamaru told us, "Unfortunately I _have_ to finish that geography assignment I've been avoiding."

"I'm supposed to get Lee home before seven." Gaara said now as he pulled out the key for his car.

"What?" I stopped them, "Why are you being so boring? Shikamaru, you can finish that assignment in no time, and Gaara, it's not even six yet!"

"Don't you have _anything_ you need to _go_ do, Naruto?" Kiba asked me now and he was doing something weird with his voice and eyes.

"Errr-" _yeah, check out some more guys_- but they didn't _need_ to hear that, "No, not really. Let's go to the Ichiraku bar!" I bounced with a grin, I love that place.

"Naruto!" Kiba snapped at me.

"What? I'm hungry."

Kiba looked over at Shikamaru desperately and the other boy just sighed as he shook his head. "It's Naruto, he'll never get it so it's pointless to even bother."

"And what's that suppose to mean?" I asked Shikamaru hotly but he had already turned to leave, his reply was a lazy wave.

"Sorry Kiba, you're on your own. Later." Gaara said and he left also with Lee following.

"I guess it's just us then." I smiled at the two remained and Kiba glared at me, "So Shino, you like ramen?" I asked the quiet boy.

"It's not bad." He answered.

"Great! Ichiraku it is."

* * *

"Welcome to Ichiraku!" we were greeted earnestly at the door by the pretty waitress in the full Sailor Moon costume, she gave us the peace sign and a bright smile. But Kiba and I just stared in tense silence because she was shockingly familiar.

"Ha-Haku?"

"Yes Naruto?" the boy in the DRESS replied as if nothing wrong with this picture.

"What-why- what are you wearing?" Kiba stuttered, Shino just looked on wordlessly between us.

"I'm Sailor Mars." He told us as he spun around. "Do you like it?"

"Er- well…" I began to consider it. He really did look a lot like her-

"Naruto don't consider that!" Kiba told me sternly. Then he turned on Haku, "Why are you dressed like that?"

"It's cosplay night. Everyone is in costume, even the owner."

I chuckled at that, "Really? Even Teuchi-san?"

"It was your idea wasn't it?" Kiba accused Haku and the other boy looked proud.

"Yeah, it was. We have costumes for the customers to rent also."

"Really?" I asked getting excited, "Do you have Axel?"

"Hmmmm, I'll have to che-"

"Just get us a table." Kiba interrupted and he gave me a stern 'behave yourself' glance.

Haku chuckled, "Sure." He turned to wave and get the attention of someone inside the restaurant, soon a waitress in a pretty pink and white lace lolitta dress and small white feathered wings appeared. Haku pulled him to stand before us, "This is Inari-chan, he's new."

My eyes widened, "He's a guy? But he's so cute!"

Inari blushed as he bowed, I blushed too because I couldn't believe I just said that out loud.

"Who's he supposed to be?" Kiba asked though he didn't sound particularly interested.

"Cardcaptor Sakura." Shino answered and everyone looked at him. "I'm a fan."

"You're kidding." I deadpanned.

"Inari, table 11 is available." Haku told the smaller boy who was shyly avoiding all eye contact with me.

"Oh, right." He said as he realized that the line behind us was growing longer all this time, "This way please."

When we were seated Inari took our orders then went then brought drinks. I couldn't help but find the way his face colored every time our eyes met or I spoke to him really endearing, he sort of reminded me of Hinata actually. Heck, I don't even think my ex could have pulled off that dress exactly as well as Inari was.

"Here you go- um-" he said as he rest my drink in front of me.

"Naruto." I told him with a smile and Inari quickly looked away.

"Naruto." He repeated, his cheeks gaining a deep shade. _He's a boy Naruto._ I reminded myself desperately, _A BOY! A B-O-Y!_

"Sooo, Shino, what did you think of the meet?" Kiba awkwardly questioning of the insect otaku caught my attention. The two of them had found seats opposite each other; Kiba was ignoring me, playing absentmindedly with the medals hanging around his neck as he watched Shino finish sipping his iced tea.

"It was exciting, you did really well Kiba." Shino answered and Kiba almost became as red as Inari.

"Really? Thanks, I was kind of trying to impress you." He admitted shyly, and that when it hit me. Something was up here. Why the heck was Kiba acting like some crush drunk girl?

"I was." Shino said now as he leaned forward and closer to my friend. "In fact your speed, the way you glided through the water so effortlessly, reminded me of the Belostomatidae."

Kiba blinked, and I scowled. "The what?" we both asked, Kiba shot a glare at me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's a family of insects under the classification of Hemiptera, I guess you might know them as the giant water bug."

Kiba laughed, "Really? How interesting, you're comparing me to a bug…" I could tell that was sarcasm, but Shino couldn't.

" Of course, they're only one of the fastest swimmers in their order, not to mention they're ruthless predators." And then, I almost couldn't believe it but, Shino smiled. It was small and more like a leer, but it was there and I could almost hear Kiba's heart go a-flutter.

"Um- Shino, just to be clear, in your language that was a complement right?" I asked him.

Shino nodded, "Of course, wasn't that obvious?"

Kiba was blushing again, he and the crazy bug boy was now sharing a silent moment of staring in which Kiba's hand rested tensely on the table just a few inches away from Shino's, I could tell that he was just aching to touch the other boy.

But something occurred to me. It was like a spark of realization; it hit me so suddenly that I unexpectedly lost control of my mouth and immediately voiced it (loudly) as I shot out of my chair and pointed at Kiba. "Y-YOU LIKE SHINO!" Kiba's eyes widened to the size of a fish's and I slapped both hands over my mouth, crying apologies with my eyes.

Kiba barely glanced at Shino who hadn't reacted or said anything yet, everyone else in the restaurant had fell silent but were slowing returning to their business again. With a scary, threatening glint in his eyes Kiba got up and grabbed me by my shirt pulling me toward the exit.

"Oh, Naruto." Haku said surprised as we passed him at the door, he watched me sympathetically as Kiba pulled me into the lonely parking lot where he stopped and pushed me away from him.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't mean it!" I began.

"GO AWAY!" Kiba shouted shutting me up.

"But- you can punch if you want. Go ahead, I won't blame you." I told him as I closed my eyes and got ready for the blow. This usually worked, normally Kiba would just tap me on my head then tell me to forget about it, but nothing happened. When I opened my eyes again my heart clenched at the disappointment that burdened the way Kiba looked at me. "Okay." I said softly, "I'll leave."

"Good." Kiba bit and he turned around to walk off, I did too and when I looked back I saw he standing outside still. He was pacing, hesitant to go back in, and I could definitely tell why. _Shit! _

* * *

End of chap 9 ^^

I hope you enjoyed, tell me what you of this chap please.


	10. Chapter 10

-Thanks for all your reviews ^^

I was planning to hold the narusasu back a little longer, but AyameRose made me re-consider that (she seemed worried about when it was coming in, though I'm wondering if the little nod to NarutoxInari caused that ^^), so I've made some adjustments and pushed some things forward in this fic- as a result you might figure out the mystery Minato pairing sooner than planned- sooner being in this chap =D you're in for a shock because so far out of all the reviews only one person got the guess right (and she did only because I know her personally thus she gets the way my mind works ^^) so enjoy and tell me what you think after.

Disclaimer: Previous…..

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If I don't Laugh I'd Cry

Chapter 10

Kiba wouldn't answer the phone no matter how many times I called that weekend, it made me really nervous, we've never fallen out like this before…..okay, maybe we have, but it's been a while. But something else was worrying me. _Was Kiba gay?_ He had to be right? I mean he does like Shino. There's no way he could deny it after what I saw in Ichiraku, the way he looked at Shino, I could tell he has it really bad too. The possibility stunned me to the point that I spent my entire weekend just staring off like I was in some daydream- _My best friend is gay, all this time and I didn't know- is this how Shikamaru, Kiba and Gaara would feel if they find out that I'm g-_ I glared at myself (figuratively)- _I'm NOT gay!_

But then I face-palmed as I remembered my not so straight reactions to that hot Uchiha-teme look alike and Inari. God, the thought of Inari in that cosplay outfit, blushing, made me want to visit Ichiraku _everyday_- which caused me to make a fervent oath with myself NOT to do that.

"Naruto." I heard a knock on my door, with a frown I picked back up the manga I was trying to read on my bed and ignored him but Dad still came in. He stepped inside carefully; I could feel the difficult grin on his face, his eyes that must have been tiredly apologetic. "Hey, I'm home."

"….."

"I brought you ramen from Ichiraku, you're favorite."

"….."

"There's a new waiter there. Have you met him? He's very cute."

"*sweatdrop*…."

Dad sighed, "Naruto, I can't fix whatever you're upset about if you don't tell me you know. I can't read your mind."

"Well, let's think about it Dad. Is there anything that you're doing that might be _wrong_? That might hurt me?" I said with measured patience and without looking at him.

"I-I don't think so." I glared at him pointedly then and Dad looked surprised by how angry I was by his answer, "Naruto-"

"I'm going to bed, good night!" I said quickly, I didn't care to talk to him anymore; he was lying straight to my face.

The next day, at school, I was taunted- as usual, I think I was getting used to it now, besides, every time I retaliated the bastard sensei would teleport out of thin air and punish me without question, so I guess my passivity was some type of conditioned response by now. I released a burdened sigh as I remembered that we have that book signing field trip this week, which meant that I'd be spending even _more_ time with Uchiha-teme.

"Arrrggh." I groaned into my opened locker, I had the sudden urge to crawl into a dark place and this was the best I could come up with at such short notice, so I rest my head in there and groaned again the vibrating sound echoing louder outside.

"Er- Naruto."

"Huh? OW!" I hit my head on the door of my locker when I jumped to turn to the person who had just spoken to me, "Oh, Kiba!"

Kiba smiled timidly at how surprised I was that he was actually talking to me, "Yo."

"Hey, I- I'm sorry about Friday, I-"

"Yeah, you can forget about that." He told me with as he slapped me on my shoulder.

"Really? You've forgiven me?"

"Yeah, I talked to Shikamaru and he reminded that you're stupid, that I shouldn't expect anything less of you, and that I should have know that you would make my life 'troublesome' from the moment I agreed to share my nap-time futon with you in kindergarten."

I didn't know whether to feel relieved or insulted.

"Heh- Shikamaru." _That bastard._

"So, we're good, okay?" Kiba smiled at me and I nodded, "Great, let's go to class."

"By the way, Kibs." I said as we began walking, the bell had rung so everyone else was clearing the hall, I thought that now was a good time to ask as we were alone, "Are you gay?"

Kiba tripped, then he looked about frantically to see if anyone was around to hear that, "I knew you were bound to ask, but couldn't you at least wait until _after_ school!" he hissed at me.

"I can't wait! It's been haunting me all weekend. Now do you like Shino or not?"

Kiba gave me an annoyed look but I just glared stubbornly back, I was serious about that question torturing me all weekend. With a short sigh he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me into a classroom that was always empty for this period. I sat on top of the teachers desk as I waited for Kiba to pull the blinds down on the door.

"Do you wanna check for surveillance cameras too?" I asked him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"About Shino, I guess I need to thank you." He told me.

"What do you mean?"

"After I kicked you out I didn't know what to do because I knew it would be really awkward, but I went back inside anyway, and well-" I lifted an eyebrow at the red that suddenly colored Kiba's cheeks and the way his eyes shifted to the side.

"Weeellll…."

Kiba rubbed the back of his neck, something I know he does when he's embarrassed, "Do you seriously need me to spell it out?"

My eyes widened and I almost fell off of the desk as it hit me, "YOU-" I brought my voice back down when Kiba glared at me, instead whispering, "you had sex with Sh-"

"No!" Kiba scowled, though his blush deepened, "Of course not, we just kissed that's all!"

"Oh, really? So you do like him then?"-

"Yeah- I do."

"…."

"I like him a lot, actually."

"…."

"Would you say something, I just shared some very fragile stuff and now your silence is freaking me out."

I chuckled, "Nah, it's- I'm just sort of surprised that all." And numb, at least I defined it as numb, but I was also wondering if the reason why I was feeling nothing was because I just truthfully wasn't upset or troubled by this at all. I should be, I'm supposed to be- why aren't i?

Kiba's shoulders fell as he relaxed, "Good, surprise I can handle. I'm sorry that you're the last to find out though, not that I _told_ Shikanaru and Gaara, they figured it out themselves."

I wasn't surprised, Shikamaru and Gaara are like that. "When did you start liking him?

"Remember when I was failing biology back in junior high and my mom made me go to Science camp over the summer? I told her that it was a dumb idea, that I'd keep up on my own, but she wouldn't listen. That camp was full of masterminds, I didn't fit in with them at all because they all looked down on me, I thought that it was going to be the longest summer of my life. But then I bounced into Shino, he remembered me and hung out with me, even though I never used to pay that much attention to him at school, and even when they bothered him about it he still stuck by me the entire time we were there."

"So that's why you like him? Because he was a good friend to you?" I somehow I couldn't find this convincing.

"No!" he rolled his eyes, "It's deeper than that, I can't explain it, I mean what he did over that summer really touched me and it changed how I looked at him but- the feelings, that just developed gradually on its own. I can't really say for sure if I'm truly gay, but I know that I'm definitely that way for Shino."

"Oh, really?"

Kiba smiled at me, it was stunning simply because I could tell that he was thinking about Shino, "Yeah."

I turned away from Kiba as my mind wondered off. Something about what he said struck me. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what but it had me thinking and I realized that I'd always viewed anything gay as sort of perverse, but maybe there was more depth to it. I think my perspective just changed because being gay had always felt like a straight line decision, not something as gently distinctive as a feeling.

_I wonder if this is what Uchiha-teme was talking about-_

"Naruto, haven't ever felt anything for a guy before?"

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What!" my attention jerked back to Kiba, "What are you talking about? I've never-"

"Calm down, it's just a question."

I took a deep breath, _geez he really caught me off guard with that one. And when I was thinking about that pedophile too!_

"No Kiba, I haven't."

Kiba smiled almost mischievously, "Oh c'mon. Never?"

"Never ever, ever ever- ever. And for good luck- ever."

"Not even if he was _really_ hot? Like Uchiha-sensei?"

My heart skipped about three beats and I bite my bottom lip in my concentration to appear calm and normal. I shook my head to Kiba's question.

"That's weird Naruto, I mean even if you're straight as hell there's no way you could not notice that guy."

_Oh I notice him enough_, "Um- shouldn't we get to class before they find us and I have to spend the next week in detention with mentioned bastard?"

"Right, class. Let's go then."

Last period loomed in the distance like a dark storm and I could see the clouds hovering over Uchiha-teme's office door as I walked towards it at that time. I had planned to pretend that I'd forgotten about the meeting and not go, but apparently he knows me a lot better than I thought and the demon sensei emailed me a reminder (bone chilling death threat) so I had no other choice.

"That's because you're predictable, idiot." He told me simply when I asked him how he knew. Uchiha-teme was sitting at his desk, his laptop open as he typed away as if I wasn't there sitting directly opposite him. I was leaning on the desk with my chin in my palm quietly studying the way his eyebrows sort of tightened when he concentrated. And I never noticed it before but, was there some red there in his eyes? _Ha, I bet none of those stupid girls ever noticed that. Actually I'm pretty sure they've never even been this close to the bastard….. I think I can see why they all want to kill me-_

"Like what you see?" he asked me suddenly without looking up, the beginning of a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips. I looked unamused.

"Don't start with that again."

"Because it's disgusting?" he said as if he was ending my sentence and for some reason I was reminded of Kiba which caused my chest to clench with blunt pangs of guilt.

I didn't reply, I just suddenly felt so irritated because I came here (even though I _really_ didn't want to) and after ten minutes we still haven't discussed anything, and now I was angry at him for making me regret what I said last week, even though I should actually be upset with myself for saying it in the first place.

"Could we just get to the point, you know the reason you called me here in the first place." I told him and Uchiha-teme looked up at me finally, his eyes were emotionless but I knew that meant that I was pissing him off.

"Sohma Shigure will be in Konoha next weekend for the release of his new book." He told me.

"Sohma? Who the heck is that? I've never heard of him."

"With your pitiable comprehension of literature, I'm not surprised."

I pictured myself tackling him over the desk- took a deep breath- then pretended I didn't care.

"Sohma-sensei writes romance novels, gay romance novels."

I scowled, "Are you serious? Why him?"

"Because he's one of the best in Japan, he won the Oda Sakunosuke Prize last year and two months ago he picked up the Poplar Publishing Grand Prize for Fiction."

I tried not to look impressed, but then he gave me one of his deliberate little smiles that I knew only foreshadowed some type of evil. "What? Is the homophobe scared?" he asked.

"I'm not- I'm _**not**_ scared, I'm not homophobic either." _Trying not to be that is, for Kiba at least._

"That's good, because I chose this author with you mind. I know Sohma-sensei personally, I told him about you and we both thought that you are a lot like protagonist in his new novel."

I rose an eyebrow at that, "What is it about?"

"A gay-for-pay porn star who can't come to grip with his true sexuality, he ends up being sold as a sex slave to a rich yakuza who he falls in love with. It's a compelling plot actually, and Sohma-sensei is very excited to meet you."

"I'm not going." I said after about ten seconds of staring opened mouth at him.

"As the president of the club you have to go."

"I don't care. I'll quit if I have to, as long as I'm not raped by you and your sick best friend."

Uchiha-teme looked pissed again, "Sohma-sensei is faithful to his lover, and second it's insulting that you'd think I would actually be interested in a child like you." He told me with a cold bluntness that actually surprised me. _So all of sudden he's being serious?_

"If you're not interested in kids then why did you kiss me?" I grumbled as I looked away from those scrutinizing eyes.

"What did you just say Uzumaki?"

"Nothing."

Uchiha-teme's cell phone vibrated suddenly on the desk and with one glance at the name on the screen he answered it quickly then got up and went for the door.

"Yes nii-san-" was the last I heard before he disappeared, then a few minutes later he came back and told me I could leave, which I did happily. As I was walking down the hallway, trying to come up with a convincible way to 'accidentally injure' myself by next weekend, Dad called me. I hesitated but decided to answer as he never usually calls me while I'm in school unless something happened.

"This better be important because I'm not supposed to be talking to you." I told him and Dad chuckled.

"Naruto, I'm coming to pick you up right now."

"Huh? Why? What happened?"

"Nothing, there's just something I need to tell you."

I meet Dad parked outside; when I got into the car he gave me a wide grin that freaked me out. I looked at him cautiously as I clicked on my seat belt, "Are you okay? Did you hit your head again?"

"No, I figured out why you're upset with me." he said, Dad turned the engine back on and began driving out of the lot. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Naruto," he told me now more serious, "I guess I was just worried about how this would affect you."

"You should have known that I would be happy for you." I told him grudgingly, I was still angry.

"I know- I know." He nodded, "But you see, this situation is different Naruto, this person is my student."

My eyes widened, "You're with one of your students!"

"Before you get worked up, I want you to know that this wasn't something that happened easily, I was very reluctant to get into a relationship like this with one of my students, obviously because it's dangerous for my job, but mostly because of you." Dad glanced at me and his eyes that are just like mine were filled with some heavy emotion, it reminded me of Kiba for a moment actually. _Wow what a day I'm having…_

I sighed, "Okay, I understand, she means a lot to you doesn't she? I mean you wouldn't risk so much for just anyone right? So I forgive you."

"Um Dad, where are we going?" I asked as I realized that we weren't on the usual route home.

"We're going to Ichiraku, you're going to meet this person."

"What? Right now?"

Dad nodded, "Yeah, there's still a lot of things that I need to share with you. I want you to promise me that you'll keep an open mind Naruto."

"Why? Is she ugly or something?"

Dad laughed again, "No, but if it was-" he paused and he made an uncomfortable face as he thought, "if it was- something like that- would you still be accepting?"

"…." I felt like there was more to this question and that I should be more bothered about the way Dad presented it, but at that moment I was more concerned about getting myself mentally prepared to meet his new girlfriend. "Yeah, I don't if your girlfriend's ugly, if you love her Dad then I love her too." I grinned.

"Heh." Dad chuckled uneasily; I realized that he was sweating again, "Okay."

* * *

Haku wasn't there to greet us today, which made sense because my school probably just call out, and Inari wasn't there either (he went to a different high school), so Ayame, the owner's daughter, met us at the door instead.

"Oh hi Namikaze-san, Naruto-kun." She bowed, "I think there is someone waiting for you."

"Yes, thank you." Dad told her before he went inside, I followed behind him finding Ichiraku to be quite empty at this time of the day, there was just the few regulars sitting at the bar and a couple of random customers at tables. I watched Dad walk up to a table for four, only one person sat there, her back towards me so that all I could see was that familiar head of long jet-black hair. I made a futile attempt at making my hair a little neater by running my fingers through it, then looked down at my uniform for any stains, I wanted to ask Dad if I looked okay but he was ahead of me, almost right beside her.

"Uzumaki?" someone said to my left and I jumped because I wasn't expecting to hear that voice here of all places and at this time. When I spun around I found Uchiha-teme looking puzzled, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with my Dad. What are _you_ doing here?" I asked him as I immediately diverted and went towards him instead; I think he was just coming out of the toilets.

"I'm here with my-" Uchiha-teme paused when he looked up over my shoulder, I was confused when his eyes widened slightly and I turned around to find my Dad hugging…. A-A GUY!

"Wait-wait!" I said louder than I'd like causing Dad to slip out from the hug and turn to me, "Where did the girl go?"

"Er-Naruto-" Dad sort of chuckled, he was nervous, I could tell from the way he ran his hand through his hair. The man next to him, the MAN who's hand was lying casually on my father's waist, he was intimidatingly handsome, faultless porcelain skin that contrasted with his hair and eyes, even his slender frame- wait- those eyes…

"Naruto, this is Itachi, he's my boyfriend." Dad told my awkwardly, and I didn't reply. Later Dad told me that it had been a while but to me I had only been quiet for a few seconds, "Naruto?" he finally said again.

I blinked out of it then started chuckling uncontrollably, "Sorry, I- I thought you just said-"

"Nii-san, is this true?" Uchiha-teme stepped up beside me and I had to trace and then re-trace his line of vision about five times before I allowed myself to accept who exactly he was calling his older brother. _This- this is the first time I've ever been at a loss for words. Shikamaru would get off his lazy ass and kill to witness this-WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT SHIKAMARU RIGHT NOW! Not only is my Dad GAY but now I'm going to be related to the spawn of the devil!_

"Naruto breath!" Dad told me and I exhaled, I hadn't even noticed that I'd stopped breathing, but now my head was spinning. "Come sit down."

I took a seat at the table and Dad came over me, he touched my pale face as I stared at him with empty and stunned eyes. Uchiha-teme took the seat opposite mine and watched on from there as the Itachi guy stood behind Dad, he was studying me intently with eyes that were even harder to read than Uchiha-teme's.

"I knew he'd take it hard but now I'm worried, he's never reacted like this to anything." Dad was saying to him. "I guess I'll have to leave out the last part for now." My eyes shot onto my Dad with the wordless question of '_There's more?_' in them, he looked hesitant though so I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, "Okay, okay, we- well- Itachi and I are, we are planning to- move in together. And as Sasuke lives with Itachi, he'll be moving in with us too."

Uchiha-sensei and I both jumped out of our chairs, "WHAT!"

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End of Chap 10

Sorry for leaving it at that ^^

Tell me what you think please


	11. Chapter 11

I may write how Minato and Itachi get together, I'll probably post it separately and tell you guys when it's out ^^

Notes for this chap: the "_maneki neko" _mentioned later is a Lucky Cat Statue.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sensei

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If I don't Laugh I'd Cry

Chapter 11

"_Look, as much as I hate you and the thought of being in your presence for any more than the five periods a week that I already HAVE to makes me want to eagerly jump of a high cliff- *heavy inhale*- But my Dad, he looks really happy, the most than he's ever been with anyone, so even though I want to kill him for not considering MY feelings when making a decision like this, I think I can try to be okay with living with you."_

"_I feel the same, Nii-san seems different, he's never been open to me with the people he dates so Namikaze-san must truly mean something to him. Besides, we made a promise to each other that we won't be separated, wherever Nii-san goes I will too."_

"_Geez, brother complex much? HA HA HA-OW! You hit me! Corporal punishment is illegal in this country!"_

"_We're not in school jackass! *smirk* and as your Onii-sama I can do whatever I want to you."_

"_Onii-sama! HA!-OW!"_

So that's how it was decided that we would keep our mouths shut and tolerate each other, at least for now, all for the sake of that idiot I call my father and Uchiha-teme's brother. But even though the demon and I had talked it through at school and decided to act normal around our family, my head was still spinning from the sudden change as I watched with my own baffled eyes Uchiha-teme, out of his usual black suit and in everyday jeans and t-shirt, carrying boxes of his stuff into my house that weekend.

"Stop staring at me and help out dumbass." He snapped at me, he had rest the box down so that he could pick up a sock that had slipped out, two female joggers who happened to be passing did a double take and almost ran into each other.

"Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing, it's dangerous." I told him as I kicked his butt gently with my foot as I passed, reluctantly noting how surprising supple it was (_supple Naru? Really?- something is wrong with me….)_, and Uchiha-teme glared a warning at me.

The moving van had been parked in our driveway since early that morning. Itachi and the pedophile didn't bring a lot of things out of the apartment that they apparently lived in before, only their clothes and other stuff that was important to them, so there wasn't really much to move into the house in the first place. But that didn't stop Dad from inviting everyone to 'help out', as he put it. I think he just wanted them to meet the two new members of the family.

It was hard to tell but I think Gaara was a little caught off guard when I told him at school about the whole thing; he just sort of froze and watched me in that serious way he does that makes people think he's going to kill them. But then he just asked me a few expected questions about how I felt about it, to which I smiled and said I didn't care as long as Dad was happy. He must have believed me because now he was inside getting to know Itachi, I think they'd like each other too because they have the same intimidating aura.

Baa-chan and my other perverted grandparent arrived just as I was bringing in the last box.

Baa-chan slipped her dark shades down her nose so that she could get a better look at me, then she smiled, "Looks like Minato finally found something useful that his brat could do."

"Dad!" I stuck my head through the front door, "Your haggy mother is here!"

Baa-chan pinched my cheek, hard, as she stepped passed me and I rubbed the spot and pouted.

"Hey kid." Jiraiya (I prefer to call him Ero-ojiisan) ruffled my hair; he followed me inside, "So how are you taking the sudden change?"

I almost rolled my eyes; I think I was getting tired of people asking me about this, "I'm moments away from asphyxiating myself." I muttered the truth under my breath and Ero-ojiisan looked confused.

"Huh?"

I grinned at him, "Oh just great! So much fun!" I told him with my best fake laugh.

"Dobe, why are you taking so long with the box?" the princess came down the stairs looking irritated. I was about to tell him that I was busy throwing it into a lake when Ero-ojiisan caught my attention. The much taller man bent lower so that he could, to my amusement, _pat_ Uchiha-teme on his head.

"Naruto," he said as he turned to wink at me, "who's this cute little lady?"

I looked quietly between the two of them a couple of times, Uchiha-teme's expression of heated disgust and my perverted grandfather's conniving grin, then laughed until I think I cracked a rib.

Uchiha-teme's face went red from both anger and embarrassment, every time I looked at him I laughed harder, I pointed too just to rub it in.

"Did I say something….?" Ero-ojiisan pondered as he watched me stumble towards the kitchen laughing.

"What's all that noise about?" Baa-chan asked me as I dropped myself in a stool next to Gaara, my head falling on the bar counter. I shook my head at her because I hadn't caught my breath enough to speak, but she soon saw Sasuke-teme walk in with my puzzled grandfather and her face brightened a little, "Ah Uchiha-san, how's the move going?"

Ero-ojiisan paused and he looked back at Sasuke-teme as if seeing him for the first time, then he chuckled nervously as he scratched at his head of pale hair, "Ha ha, _you're _the younger Uchiha, sorry about that."

The demon didn't reply, with a tight lip he walked passed my grandfather and went for the fridge, I guess for something to drink.

"What did you do?" Baa-chan snapped at her husband as she slapped him on his shoulder and Ero-ojiisan shrugged.

"Would you like anything to drink Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked me, he seemed to be the bartender for this little party, he was pouring some iced tea for Baa-chan (though with the flask she was pulling out of her pocket it was soon to be spiked) and Dad was beside him forming some onigiri. Itachi's eyes shifted to me and I almost hissed out loud, I had been avoiding him all day because the guy had the weirdest air about him, it wasn't intimidating he was just too- well, let's just say I avoided him because I didn't want him to see me blushing and I hoped none of the girls in my school finds out about him living with me because they'll probably camp out right in front my door.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks." I told him while facing Gaara, my cousin cocked his brow at me like he thought I was behaving weird. "Right Gaara, you texted me something about Neji yesterday?" I quickly tried to get his mind off of it. Gaara leaned back in his stool his arms folding as his eyes closed and I wondered who pissed him off because that was Gaara's bitching stance.

"The vice president of the student council quit this week, he's transferring schools."

"Oh, right in the middle of the term too, sounds annoying." I told him and Gaara nodded.

"It is, and now I'll have to hold an election to fill the position."

"Why don't you just give it to Neji? Isn't he the Treasurer?" Gaara glanced at me in a way that made me wonder if I said something bad. "You don't want Neji to be the vice president?"

"It's not exactly that, I'd just prefer if he kept his position as treasurer. I think Neji, and I, would feel more comfortable that way."

Okay, I was lost now and Gaara could see it in the blank expression I gave him.

He sighed, "I guess I'll have to explain, you probably haven't noticed but ever since we first met Neji in junior high, somehow, no matter what club or school activity I took part in Neji was typically close behind. At first I didn't mind but usually because we have similar interests we'd be paired up and that's when I noticed that he behaves-_differently_ around me."

"Differently? Ha ha, I'd love to see Neji acting '_differently'_. What's that like anyway?"

"I can't really explain it, I'll just say that it's sort of like having someone breathing down your neck all the time, anyway that's why I was satisfied with the space between us in the student council, but now that the vice spot is open he'll probably be aiming for it."

"So basically you'd take anyone as the vice president as long as it isn't Neji because he creeps you out?"

"Basically."

"Wow, out of all the people to freak _you out_ Neji was like nowhere near that list. What about Hinata? Think she's a stalker too? Does she give you the chills?"

Gaara ignored me, his attention going to my Dad who had mentioned something about Gaara's birthday, apparently it was coming up soon and he'd asked Dad if he could hold the party at our house.

"Of course it's not a problem but I was just wondering why ours and not yours Gaara?" Dad asked him.

"The apartment doesn't go well with the theme." Gaara told him.

"And what's that?" I asked.

"It's a horror themed party." Gaara answered and I stuck out my tongue.

"Eh, I want no part in this, I'm not even coming."

"That'll be difficult as I'll be turning this place into a haunted house and everyone you know is going to be there."

"Eh? You're going to turn my hou- why?" asked with a disgusted look on my face, I hate stuff like scary movies and haunted houses. Who in their right mind would _willingly_ scare themselves? Made no sense to me….

Gaara on the other hand was sort of a horror film junky, not that that wasn't obvious.

"I've wanted to do this for years and this house has that perfect antique feel to it, after Kiba and I are done it'll be the scariest thing you've ever seen."

I tried not to shiver when Gaara said that, the guy is frightening by himself, I didn't even want to think about _anything_ that was produced in the dark depths of that dangerously obscure mind of his.

"So do I have to wear some sort of costume or something?" I asked him.

"It's not Halloween Naruto, wear whatever you want."

After dinner everyone left, I tried to convince Gaara to let me sleep over at his home (my plan was to then slyly extend the '_just one night_' to '_forever!_' and move in with him, even if I had to suffer through living with Kankuro it would be better than being around that demon-sensei all the time) but I think he figured it out telling me that I should stay here and get to know my 'new family' better. I think I heard a smirk in those words but with Gaara you never really know.

But now the house was awkwardly quiet, the only sound being Dad and Itachi talking about work inside the office, their low serious tones was all I could hear as I made my way up stairs towards my bedroom. It felt strange having new people in the house, even when I can't see them; I was so used to it being just two-

"WH-WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING?"

"Seriously, do you even know what an inside voice sounds like?" Uchiha-teme growled at me, it was the first time he'd talked to me since the incident with my Granpa and for some reason I was worried about the silent treatment but now I just wanted to know why the hell was he standing in MY room. And why was there a futon on the floor?

"What's with the futon?" I pointed at it like it was bug on the ground.

"What's going on?" Dad appeared behind me in the doorway, he look at the situation the gave me one his 'forgive me cause I'm cute' smiles, "Oh right, Naruto I guess I forgot to tell you, the geust room that's supposed to be Sasuke's new room isn't ready yet so you and him will have to share for a few nights."

"You're sleeping on the floor." Uchiha-teme deadpanned.

"Do you mind?" Dad asked me and I almost tackled him.

"OF COURSE I M-"

"Ahem!" I glanced at the bastard and his pointed look reminded me of the oath of keeping our loved ones happy we had made just a while ago.

"Don't mind, I don't mind at all." I said with a voice shaken and strained by the weight and pain of what I was agreeing to.

"Good, thanks Naru, you're such a good boy." Dad told me as he ruffled my hair then kissed my forehead. When he was gone I turned on the pedophile.

"You better not try anything, I'm a level 8 Panda Scout, I can sleep with one eye open!" I warned him and he looked at me like I was stupid.

"Level 8 Panda Scout? And you're proud of that? Anyway, like I said before I want nothing to do with you. Now get out."

"Why? It's my room?"

"Cause I'm going to take a bath moron."

"It's my bathroom too! Use the one downstairs!"

"Naruto! Is everything okay?" I heard Dad call out and I stiffened.

"Y-Yeah, everything's great, nothing to worry about!" I call back and when I turned back to Uchiha-sensei he was smirking in that conniving way that made me worry.

"You're a bastard." I told him and he rolled his eyes.

"I heard you for the millionth time already. You know if you read more it might grant you the capacity to construct more inventive insults."

"Don't insult and lecture me at the same time, we're not at school!" I whispered harshly at him as I pointed, I came closer too just in case I was still being too loud and Uchiha-teme's eyes flicked up and down my body then looked into mine as he held his ground. "Look, when we're at home its fair ground, you're not my bastard sensei, just a bastard, and I'm not you're student. And you're NOT my brother either."

"Fine with me."

"Good!"

"Great."

"FANTASTIC!"

"Naruto!"

"OKAY DAD! OKAY!" I shouted at the door and when I turn back to Uchiha-teme I stilled because I just realized how close we were, so close that I could now say that his sweat smells sweet, I also found myself beating down a strange urge to move hair that was falling tiredly in his face. I gulped.

"Get out." He told me simply with a somewhat cold glint in his onyx eyes and I stepped back wordlessly and headed to the door. "If you come back in here while I'm in the bathroom I'll castrate you with a fork."

"Who'd want the calamity of seeing _you_ naked anyway?" I said before I closed the door behind me, "Hey, don't forget to wash your tail!"

I stood in the hallway mindlessly listening to the bastard moving around in MY room and at the same time wondering about what I was going to do as I wait for him to finish. I could hear Dad chuckling, and it wasn't in a pervy way else I'd have been out of here like a bird on fire, it sounded like he was having fun. It sounded good actually, hearing him laugh like that made me believe for a moment that this change wasn't so bad.

I decided to join them mostly because I figured there was no way I could avoid Itachi forever, I'll just have to get used to the extreme Bishōnen aura he exudes. When I opened the door to Dad's office I found him and the man mentioned sitting on the sofa, both were bent over an album and cuddled quite close. _Eh, they're canoodling, I should leave them alone._ I thought and was about to close the door but Dad looked up.

"Naruto, do you remember this?" he held up the album for me and my mouth dropped.

"Dad!" I glanced frantically at Itachi, the small smile on his lips as he looked at me made my face red, "My baby pictures! Why!"

"Because they're cute." He grinned at me.

"They are." Itachi told me and I actually got redder.

"I'm naked in most of those." I whimpered.

"Yeah, he used to have this thing against clothes back then; they kicked him out of day care because of it." Dad shared and I glared at him.

"Naru, would you get the other albums in your room? We're almost done with this one." He asked me.

"Sure Dad, obviously you haven't embarrassed me enough…"

I was grumbling as I walked down the hallway towards my bedroom, I'd thought I had hid all of those forbidden albums, he must have saved that one. I opened my door and walked to my closet, pushing through my clothes in search of the old jacket I had placed at the bottom, wrapped inside were the albums. But I paused when I heard my bathroom door open and then a soft gasp. Only as I was turning to see who it was did I remember that I wasn't supposed to be in here, but it was too late.

Uchiha-teme's sleek and pale naked body was before me and in all my years of being a 'straight' male nothing has made that much blood rush that fast into my crotch, it almost hurt. And I couldn't look away. _FUCK! LOOK AWAY DAMMIT! LOOK AWAY! _But I couldn't, my eyes were like starved dogs lapping up and devouring his image like it was a thrown meal, I think I stopped breathing. I wanted to do _things_ to him, lots of things. Things I didn't even understand.

I didn't really notice Uchiha-teme's face flushing or the cute way he begged me not to look with his eyes, finally becoming too embarrassed to shout at me he grabbed at the first thing he could get his hands on, which happened to be the heavy metal maneki neko Ero-ojiisan had given me when I was seven. And threw it blindly at my head. I woke up two hours later with a black eye and the worst head ache of my life.

End of chap 11

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Tell me what you think plz

I'll try to update sooner ^^


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